warm, comforting things...

 

Warm from the oven, homemade cinnamon buns.  They're not picture perfect, but the kids said they were really good.  The icing is just a thick vanilla glaze.  

I didn't set out to make cinnamon rolls yesterday.  I made a batch of oatmeal cookies, the first pan with no choc chips, Princess Camille doesn't like them, then added mini chocolate chips.  It warmed up the house, they smelled amazing, but I didn't have any.  I cannot, because I am not a one cookie person, and I am my own worst enemy.  (just for the record, I've been paying more attention to what I eat, cut the cream in my coffee to a minimum, and the scale is inching downward again...).

Anyway, dinner time was looming, butter chicken.  I cut up about five pounds of chicken breast, sautéed in olive oil with lots of cumin, and a sprinkle of pepper.  I added two jars of butter chicken sauce from Aldi, yes, I'm a cheater.  It simmered all afternoon, making the house smell yummy.   

Homemade naan bread goes well with this, so I started the dough for it, and wondered if my yeast was still good, it didn't foam up like I thought it should.  So I opened a new package, and this foamed better.  I made the dough, put it in a warm oven to rise (with a glass pan of water on the bottom).  When I checked the original cup of water and yeast, it had indeed foamed up, quite nicely, and I didn't want to waste it.  So I found a recipe for cinnamon bread that used roughly the same amount of water per yeast, then turned it into cinnamon rolls. 

The butter chicken was amazing, with fresh cilantro on top.  The kids eat theirs with Basmati rice, I had some spaghetti squash with mine.  For the naan bread, I squish the dough down after the first rising, and make like twenty little balls, cover and rise again.  Then I flatten each one, and put them a few at a time in the panini maker, brushed with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.  They get crispy on the outside, and stay fluffy in the middle.  I tasted a few, and mmm.

Life is interesting.   We don't always get along magically, amazingly, wonderfully.  Sometimes we say things too harshly, or hurt someone's feelings.  Yesterday, I felt kind of lonely.  One of the kids told me she was sick of hearing about politics, okay, fair enough.   ouch.  you don't have to say it so sharply, but okay. Then another comment from someone, and one little thing from Paul, and wait a minute, every one hates me.  THEN, I check comments on the blog, and a lady derides me for joking about coronavirus.  She said she will have to read elsewhere, because basically, I am an awful person.  

Oh wah, stop feeling sorry for yourself, right?  If I were reading about myself in a book, that's what I would say to me.  I was conscious that I was heading in that direction, so I decided to be thankful for things instead, you know how you sometimes have to tell yourself that you're being ridiculous.  Objectively, who cares what people think of me, anyway!?  But the reality is sometimes it hurts, and I just had one of those afternoons where I wanted to go cry.  

Side note:  I do not think the corona virus is funny.  I am also not a politically correct comedian.  Laughing and joking about the discrepancies in policies and mandates doesn't mean I think it's hilarious that your grandma died.  I think I've mentioned it time and time again here, how heartbreaking it is.  Nursing homes riddled with it, understaffed, no visitors, it's like a nightmare.  My own older kids have firsthand been a part of the tragedy, Emily working in one of the Covid overrun hospitals in the beginning of the surge here, Molly working on a Covid floor for months, Aaron at Stanford, witnessing firsthand the sadness and the suffering, Mariel working with chemo patients who get their treatments alone, afraid.  I know it's real, and I know it's not a joke, in and of itself.  

When you lose someone you love, you are raw and sensitive, and I recognize this in what A. said to me, but when I sit here and write, I can't weigh and measure everything I say, and wonder if I'm going to offend someone.  I never intend to.  In fact, you wouldn't believe how much I do not say!

For instance, I had a few comments from someone who actually stated a falsehood...she mentioned that a certain house speaker was threatened by a congresswoman, and that was not true.  Not true at all.  I wrote a response, but deleted it, because I don't like arguing, strife.  I like to make my way through life seeking what's actually true.  

I found an article from Oklahoma State Health Department about masking.  This is NOT political, just common sense.  The virus numbers from where there was masking mandated and not, are interesting. Would you believe they were lower without masks?   

Anyway.  I like to write, I like to make observations in life, and of course I see everything from my point of view.  You all are entitled to your own viewpoints of course, and I welcome peaceful opposition, if that makes sense.  We are all different, and that's a beautiful thing.  Even in a family, we are different, and we need to learn to give each other space, forgive and forget, and get over ourselves.  Love covers a multitude of sin...