school today? ahhh....

Let me start with saying I am tired. I didn't get to go to bed early last night as planned because I remembered that Molly was not home yet. She was out celebrating a friend's birthday, she was with a very responsible older sister of the friend, a good girl, but still. A mom cannot just go to bed when the 14 year old daughter isn't home yet. Then Jon cried for some juice, so it was good mom was still up anyway, or he would have woken up the 3 girls. So, finally to bed.....and Miss Camille had an awake spell last night. I got her out of bed SIX times! Each time, I snuggled with her, nursed her, rocked her, and put her back in her little pink bed. I tip-toed back to my nice warm bed, got all settled in, and she would cry again....sometimes right away, sometimes in 5-10 minutes, right when I started dozing. When I picked her up, she would whisper, "shh", or "nigh, nigh"...the fifth time I tried to nurse her, she refused, and said, "ba, ba''''....yeah, right. Finally, after time #6, she stayed in bed and went to sleep. Now, if she had her own room, or if Paul didn't have to get up and go to work, I would try something different. But I don't want to get into that now. The fact is, I am tired. And the thought crossed my mind not to get up and wake up the school kids this morning. But I did. Here is Sonja K., all ready to go.
She is in first grade. The perfect age, 6 years old. She still likes wearing tights to school. And she is happy about school.

Suzanne is having her "stay home" day. Just a random day where she gets to stay home, to get some extra attention. She has gone outside 3 times this morning, looking for snow. We didn't get very much, it didn't stay on the ground, but we got enough on the deck and picnic table, that she has two snowballs in the freezer to show Jon when he wakes up.

The thought that got me out of bed this morning: Emily's "I have learned to do what I do not like doing".....and last night, when I couldn't get Camille settled in, (she was playing with my face in the dark, and just enjoying herself), I thought of having another baby. And I still would take one gladly. What is wrong with me? Morning sickness, fatigue, back-aches, sleeplessness....and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Why? Honestly, why? There is either a disconnect between my rational mind and my heart, or God has blessed me with a trust in Him about accepting the children. I think it is both. The disconnect is from God, too.

Suzanne is preparing cocoa for her and Jon, anticipating him waking up. She is also making them some bagels. She will be blessed today, and so will Jon, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I.

I need to get moving here. I plan to stay home today, and hopefully for the rest of the week, too. I have laundry, and sorting to do. And of course the typical other stuff. And I don't really like to do it, but I have learned to do what I don't like to do. Yesterday, I was ready to sit down and take a break. Charlotte Claire and Camille were settled into bed, finally! and Jon was dozing on the couch. My chair and my computer were calling my name, but so was the huge load of darks in the dryer. And Jon's bedding was in the washer, needing to be dried. So, I went in and took care of the laundry. Did I love it? Na. But, if I was out in the working world, you can bet I would be doing alot of things I wouldn't love doing. That's life. And that is the discipline I need here at home, when I don't really have a boss, or anyone to hold me accountable. And believe me, I could work harder, but sometimes my old body protests too much....