emily is gone....

And I am so sad. We (Joseph, Aaron, Mali, Camille, and I) brought her to the airport. We then checked out a few video game stores to try to find a game Joseph wanted, then to Target so Aaron and Mali could fool around and use Aaron's new camera, and get slushies and popcorn, then a quick trip through the grocery store, and home.....Daddy and Mirielle were making dinner, chicken fajitas. Three of the girls, Margaret, Kathryn, and Evelyn left to spend the night at a friend's house (they have 14 kids, 13 still at home). My niece and her husband took Suzanne, Sonja, and Jon on a great adventure today. Chinese restaurant for lunch, to the movies to see "Bolt", and to the dollar store to get a prize. It was fantastically nice of them. They spoiled these guys. Now, Joseph and Aaron are gone, and Sam is going to the movies with some friends from church. I have to have a constant mental list of who is where. Sometimes I count who is in the room, and go from there.

So the niggling at the back of my mind about the laundry and things around here that need to get done has gotten a bit noisier, it is almost a scream now. And to top it off, today Paul suggested to Mirielle that she and Abigail help me clean up laundry room while they are around. So it isn't only me who is seeing what needs to be done. I think it is interesting that we are given a certain conscience about cleaning up. Some people are obviously more inclined to keep things in order, and some are more sloppy. When I get my nesting instinct before a baby is born, I can do amazing things. I wish I could bottle that up. At the same time, if I was always a fanatic about housework, I wouldn't be able to go off on all my adventures. And I probably wouldn't sit here writing when there was laundry to do. So, all in all, I am glad I care to the extent that I do about the house, it could be worse. I mostly wish I cared a bit more. Maybe I need to have some company over, that gets things cleaned up for sure. We do sweep and vacuum and clean the kitchen every single day, kitchen is a constant cleanup. It just takes so much time and energy to keep a house at a really nice clean level, and I sometimes can manage, and sometimes not.

The state of the house is a source of a constant inner battle for me. I find I am very happy when it is spotless (hey, "my" spotless), and sort of depressed when I can't seem to get it that way. And every single day, it is the same thing. It doesn't just get cleaned and stay clean. Too many people with too much stuff. So I am really working on my salvation in it all. To learn to be content in all things.

But at the same time, I am thankful for that niggling, that niggling in the back of my mind that has turned to a scream. Thankful that I can focus some effort on getting clothes put away properly, so things run more smoothly. And I am thankful that the girls will be around this week to help me......if only someone doesn't suggest something that sounds really fun, because I am perfectly capable of ignoring that scream and walking right out the door....

I am thankful for a good many things lately....

1. My kids. Obviously. But when Charlotte Claire refers to Camille as, "my baby sister", oh it is so cute.

2. People who are good to my kids.

3. A warm day. If it was 50 degrees in the summer, we would be shivering, but yesterday felt wonderful.

4. Disposable diapers

5. Wipes.

6. My vacuum cleaner. I may have listed this in past thankful lists, but, I just love it. And I did not get a penny from the Dyson company to write the following message: It is the best vacuum cleaner I have owned, and I have had maybe 10 or 15 through the years. I use it almost every day. The way each piece comes off, getting stuck socks out is a cinch. (say that 10 times fast)....and, it is powerful. And the hose is so handy for getting in corners and cobwebs. I got it for half-price last year, and it was pretty hard to actually put a $250 vacuum cleaner in my cart. But it was such a good deal. I tell the kids to be careful with it, I couldn't replace it.

7. Oh, I have earthly things I could list that I like and enjoy, but I think I'll try to focus on the heavenly things. I am glad that God sent Jesus to make a way for me. I am glad that in the midst of the trials, I can be changed. There is a line from a song in our songbook, "while the world around you storms, God your inner man transforms..."

8. I am glad that God sends everything for my best. Romans chap.8, v.28.

9. In my living room right now: Paul and I, Abigail, Mirielle, Mali, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, and Camille. Charlotte Claire just went to bed. She had no nap, and was being such a drama queen about every stubbed toe....Jon got a Little Tikes camera for Christmas, and Paul put his picture on the computer, he is thrilled. Mali is playing Wii golf with Suzanne and Sonja. Camille is eating candy wrappers. She knows where some Christmas stockings are....she is no idiot, as Abigail likes to say....

10. My washing machine and dryer. I know, I know, somethings I get the idea that I really need more than one of each. But really, I am thankful that I have them and they work. Charlotte Claire peed on the couch today, which thankfully I keep a comforter/cover on, and voila: throw it in the washing machine. What in the heck did the families do, all through history? Just think of how blessed it is to live in these days. Between washers and dryers, and all other appliances, not to mention running water and electricity, and antibiotics and childhood vaccines (Okay, some may not agree, but at least my kids aren't plagued with diptheria or polio)......so, I have way more than 10 things I am thankful for. But mostly: that God is near me, and cares for me enough to send the best for me, and lets me see how I really am. He is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.