I took the little kids in the hot tub last night, and told them when they get home today I would sing the "No More Pencils, No More Books..." song with them when they get home today....I get as excited as they do, no wonder they didn't want to go to sleep last night. I have this idealistic idea that summer is an empty slate. Never mind that I still have to do the shopping, and those pesky appointments....
This morning Rosie rolled in her poop. I will kindly spare the details, but a somewhat busy morning got temporarily crazy as I had to bathe the stinky girl asap. I had to soap her up several times before she smelled yummy again. And of course on the way to the tub, she took a quick detour over to the couch to jump up and greet Sonja, so the couch cover has to be washed today. And I still have to go bleach the tub. I mean, we can't bathe a puppy out under the cold hose, can we?
Camille, not having a baby sibling, is maturing so quickly as she copies the older ones. Last night when we were in the hot tub, I was thinking how all the little ones were with me, and I didn't have to hurry or worry about if the baby was crying......when for years and years there is ALWAYS a baby, when there isn't one, it is strange. I have had babies who were 5 months old when the toddlers were Camille's age, or at least I was due to have another by now. I knew it had to end some day, but it is still strange. I feel like after juggling 3 balls all these years, I now only have two. I know I will get used to it, but I have the baby fever! Or as Cassie-Ann so sweetly puts it, I'm getting "clucky"....It just all brings me back to the question, WHY do I love babies so much? Why do I think nothing of the pain and suffering, just the blessing? Is it because God has put it on my heart to recieve the children from Him? I cannot for the life of me fathom having one or two or three, heck even 6 or seven, and just say, I AM DONE. I have never felt done. Honestly though, it is nice to have things a bit more leisurely, but I would trade it in a second for a new baby. Why is that? I would really welcome comments on this.......it isn't something I can go up to women in the grocery store and ask....and don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no judgement on anyone who has felt "done" , I am just curious.....I do believe that God has the babies for me all decided in heaven, if He called me before the foundations of the world, He certainly had the children all chosen, too. So I do leave it to Him. But I do peacefully and restfully yearn for just one more...or maybe two....hey, twins!
I have a stinky diaper to change, and some breakfast to make....but I am a happy mom this morning. I am so looking forward to spending more time with the kids. The receptionist at the pediatrician's office yesterday said something like, "Only one day left of vacation for you, huh?" I am sure she was just joking, but this seems to be the general attitude in the world. And yes, I do like to get them in bed at night....but to spend leisurely time with them, to get to know them more, to talk to them, give them attention, do things spontaneously....it sounds heavenly to me. I am more of a spontaneous person than a planner, so I love to have the opportunity to just drop everything and go off on an adventure. Maybe I am too irresponsible to be a mother, I don't know, but I still feel like one of the kids in the summertime. And not because I have alot of energy, just because I like to have fun. I need to seriously disipline myself to get the basic things done around here first......'
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13 comments:
Oh, forget the chores! You are a great mom! Not irresponsible at all, I just think that you understand kids/teens and you know how to be a good mom and provide fun things for them to do. From the sounds of it you have a great bunch of kids, and that doesn't just HAPPEN. It's that excellent home-trainin' they got goin on over ther'! (did you say that with the BEST southern accent you can fathom?) haha...
Anyway, I think that it says something about you and your kids' relationship that y'all love summer and love spending time together.
Footloose and Fancy-free! Oh, it's going to be a fun summer!! :)
I think that it is great that you want so many children - I am hoping for as many as you one day (though I am no where near becoming a mom yet). For years I've been thinking that when I have children I just want to keep having more, I don't ever want them all to grow up without leaving a younger one behind. :)
I too feel like the thought of never having a little one is hard....at the same time when I think of the other children I realize that they too need me and how wonderful for them to not have mom always occupied with a fussy baby!!! But perhaps I'm saying this because this is coming from someone who has not had a long "break" from babies...ever:):):) who knows...maybe when my youngest is a bit older I'll feel just like you:):)
But if this is your last....you have sooooo many other children just yearning for your love. and yet I totally understand!!!
Two thoughts about your question from a mom of three great girls (and someone who is asked all the time-are you going to try again for the boy? The answer is "No").
1. Why you might not feel "done": You have done it for twenty-some years. That's as long as many people have a career before they "retire". You still have another 18 or so to go before you can "retire". It seems weird to be "done" because you've been doing the same job for so long.
2. Why I do feel "done" (I would consider adoption in a few years though): I have a very bad attention span-or perhaps my attention is too detailed. In any event, I have a hard time with three girls keeping track of their needs (physical, spriritual, emotional, intellectual) and training them. And I know that IF I were to get pregnant again God would provide. But I don't really want to be. I'm eager to focus on this phase of life and do things (like travel) that are difficult or impossible with babies. So my love for babies will be quenched when my nieces have them and my grandchildren are born (unless God has something else planned!)
So now, when you decide to head to the beach in Sodus Point be sure and give me a heads up so I can wander down there myself and find you.
Lots of fun on the poopy dog. Sounds like a job I'd love to delegate to someone else but would probably do myself instead.
I love reading about the antics of your dog...reminds me of mine a year ago (he just turned 1).
I don't know how one copes with being "done". By the grace of God alone, I suppose. I am 40 this year and also facing that issue.
Have a wonderful summer!
I was just telling some of my girls, the other day, how after I rec'd the "bonus" of Audrey, (I reminded them how I always like a discount or a bargain, and she was like the buy 6, get 1 free.) I told them that although I was to never have any more, I really thought God would pick me to be a statistic-breaker! Esp. when I heard about that car-dealer's wife up North who had a 5th daughter, after surgery. Anyway, I still love babies, and I suppose I always will.. I know for every one of yours, I've really appreciated the newborns and how you've shared. My girls' baby addiction has certainly been fed by your pregnancies!! It's interesting how much they all enjoy them! I think it's from God. PS: Can I go to Sodus with you sometime to meet Martha???
Oh Della, I loved your post. You inspire me, the fact that you have had 16 babies and would love as many more as god would give you is something i admire so much, The way you just love them all, the way you like spending time with them and getting to know them, not everyone is like that and its so nice to read that even after 16 and you still see the joy in every one of your children...
I wish i could have as many as you, I dont think i will ever feel done, just the thought of not having a pregnancy and a new baby to look forward to is scary to me but i know i will have to stop at some point (and i am hoping like crazy that Bella isnt our last)...not because of me but because of joe although he has done well fo a man who only wanted 1 maybe 2 lol! ... I pray that he opens his heart to as many babies as we are blessed with and when the time comes that we are 'finished' that i will be at peace with that because i know that it will be a sad time for me because i love being pregnant and having babies and watching them grow....(as you probably know by now lol)
I have never really understood how anyone can feel done but then i dont think that everyone looks at having babies like we do ;-) and as bad as it sounds not everyone realises what a precious gift babies/children are either iykwim;-) and by saying that i dont mean to offend anyone or speak ill of people but it does make me sad when i hear moms say they cant wait for their kids to go back to school or that doing things with their kids is torture or they cant wait till they are old enough to go to daycare....
Anyway that turned into a bit of a novel , but i think for everyone that done feeling is different, some get it some dont, and some dont get a choice and for people like you and me and other lucky moms of many ,all we can do is ask for peace , enjoy the babies we have been blessed with and wait for grand babies (which i hope will be a while for me lol)
Oh and i love all your 'Rosie' stories!!!!
Cassandra xx
I think it is wonderful you feel such yearning after babies. I think it's just a different personality trait you have. I love my babies and I never feel any of them to be a bother, but I don't love babies in general. I think at some point I will feel my family is complete. I don't yet, so I don't know how that will feel, though.
I think you are so much fun as a mom! I wish I had a mom like you, lol;-) It's not being irresponsible to want to enjoy your children, and to enjoy life. That is wonderful! As for feeling "done", I don't really understand how anyone could feel that their family is now complete and they are done with having children. I don't think I will ever feel done, I just wish my husband would feel like I do. He wonders if at some point that I will be like "everyone else" and not want to keep having babies. He loves our children, he just doesn't understand why I have the desire to have more and more, lol. I guess I can't really answer your question, since I don't understand the reasons for it either.
There have been times that I've felt overwhelmed or exhausted and wondered about my sanity to want to keep having more of these precious little sleep-deprivers and all the trouble they can be (lol) but it's never been enough to want to be "done".
Hope you enjoy your summer vacation!
I'm only on number 6, but I don't feel done. I feel old, and I'm concerned about my age, but I would take several more babies.
I'm really curious to see how I will feel after this baby is born because I do worry now that I have hit that magic number. Sigh.
#10 was enough for me, or at least my body. I'm 45 now, so Rosalie, 12 weeks, will probably be my last. Do I feel sad? Of course, but I can't help feeling a little relieved to know this stage of my life is ending. I tend to like to know what will happen next. Though I do not have a rigid schedule, I like to do things in a certain order and having babies tends to throw my limited organization all out of whack. It takes me a year or more to get semi organized after each new baby. I really would like to get the house decluttered and organised some year so anyone, not just mom, could find their own stuff, as they would know where it belongs and maybe put it away...
#10 was enough for me, or at least my body. I'm 45 now, so Rosalie, 12 weeks, will probably be my last. Do I feel sad? Of course, but I can't help feeling a little relieved to know this stage of my life is ending.
--This is where I am at. It really only happened within the last year or two, before that I could never imagine feeling *done*. Maybe it has something to do with being in your middle 40's :) Of course, if another is sent our way I wouldn't be upset, but I am content if not, as well.
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