summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012
family

Sunday, September 13, 2009

going to mcdonalds

While I was looking at the pictures from today's outing, I discovered that the kids took my camera to their activity club Native American party on Friday night. I decided to try to put up a picture of each of the kids....Of course Emily and Joseph are in Norway, Mali was sick Friday night, and I don't have one of Benjamin. So here are the other twelve, a few from the party, and then some from Mcdonalds....here is Abigail Marie.
Mirielle Joy....does she look like an Indian or what? Aaron....



Samuel James....

Margaret Cheryl, in the black shirt, with her close friend Janette (Janette has 13 brothers and sisters)....





Kathryn Grace




Evelyn Joy




Suzanne Eleanor with Charlotte Claire









Sonja Kathleen









Jonathan Robert







Charlotte Claire











And Camille was so busy, everytime I went to snap the picture she was gone...








Here are the seven youngest, the ones who went to McDonalds and the grocery store with me.







The dreary day was taken over with sunshine!


My heart warmed toward my sweet kids today when we got into McDonalds and I started to take their orders....I had promised Sonja the HappyMeal, and when Charlotte Claire saw the prizes, she wanted one too. Jonathan of course wanted a Hotwheel, so he wanted one. Suzanne said she didn't need a HappyMeal. And the other kids were in agreement. They each told me a sandwich from the dollar menu, and I got two orders of fries for everyone to share. So 8 of us ate for $20, which is higher than normal because of those stupid H.Meals. But they liked them. We were there for a few hours, they like the indoor playground alot. I had a cup of coffee, and got some apple pies to share, which was another $5. Oh well, it was worth it. I didn't just sit there while they were playing, oh no, one of the employees asked me how Jon liked being the only boy with six sisters....I said he has a few brothers. Which lead to a few more questions. Pretty soon lots of moms were asking me questions. It's interesting, because they mostly want to know about laundry and meals. Those things are secondary. I need to get more brave, more bold. And by the grace of God, I will....because one of the moms there, who had three kids, was just awful to them. She was loudly chastising her son for kicking her, and he yelled, "Well you're kicking me!"...(he was only like 5 years old)...she took offense at that, and shouted at him, "Do you WANT me to kick you? 'Cause I will!!"...lovely, lady. Lovely. So when she was asking me questions, I sadly chickened out. Very sadly. Because here is what I wanted to say: TO hell with the laundry and the dishes and the clothes and the meals. You are the mom, you set the tone in your family, do not blame your sweet little boy for his negative behaviour when you are acting like a two-year old. Be nice, be kind, be patient, EVEN if it KILLS you!! Then things will go well. But I did not say those things. I chickened out. It seems that there are these people out there, just stumped that their kids are brats, exclaiming that "Well YOUR kids are so good..."...like I just got lucky....(and of course we all know my kids are just normal kids, but when you are respectful and kind to your kids, they are much nicer.) Anyway...then I met the most incredible woman ever...
She gets a new paragraph. She was incredible in a bad way. I was astounded at her. She was super friendly, she pulled up a chair, and we chatted for half an hour. She has 6 kids. She had the first four, and was happy and things were all going according to plan, they were paying off the house, saving for their college funds, going on fun vacations...then: she got pregnant again. She did NOT want to be pregnant. Her husband did not want another baby. She was saying this in all seriousness. She found out at seven months they were having twins. They half-heartedly put up two new cribs the week before the babies were born. She gained lots of weight, got stretch marks, it was awful! Then they were born, and it was horrible. Her older kids complained about the crying, and her husband even suggested they put the babies up for adoption. She was serious about this, mind you. I was horrified. She said they were adjusting, but the twin boys were a handful, and now they had to change the way they vacationed, and go back to doing kid-oriented stuff, and now the boys are finally in first grade and gone all day....she said her and her husband are both engineers, and she now can work again....oh, it was awful, she said. "Even when they were born and you saw them?", I asked increduously....oh, she said, it was awful. The pain, the surgery, she had to have a cesarean. Her and I were from totally different planets. She looked really lovely, long curly dark hair, she obviously worked hard and got her figure back......but she was so full of selfishness. Those poor boys. If she was telling a total stranger how unwanted they were....
Yeah, so my trip to McDonalds was enlightening. I do not think anything I said could have put a dent in the mom of six's heart, but a few of the other moms. One yelled at her boy for using the bathroom. She very loudly asked him "Did you sit down on the dirty toilet seat? Use hand sanitizer right now!" Poor kid.
Is anyone thinking I need to get out more?
But it is just surprising to me, time and time again, to see the way people are with their kids. Not exactly abusive, but abrasive. Like they are saying to everyone in hearing distance, "See , these kids are giving me a hard time..." I want to shout, fight against your own nature, and be at peace with your children! We are our own worst enemies, and people just do not see it. There are so many things and people and circumstances to blame for how awful I react to things, but that is all a lie. It is alway ME, my sin, that causes the problem. When I fight that, say NO, then it starts to go well. One thing I have noticed in myself is that I can unconsciously provoke them by picking at trivial things. It is written in Ephesians, "Parents, do not provoke your children to anger...." I can drop a matter and humble myself, and maybe later when I am not so stirred up, I can try to discuss it with the child. Oh, the cry of my heart is to be awake, and to be able to see myself, and fully partake of this way of salvation that Jesus made.
We then went to the grocery store. They always give the kids a cookie at the bakery...and the nice lady gave them two each, chocolate chip cookies. I was nice, and didn't even steal a bite. But that was NOT easy. Anyway, we got some bread and carrots and bananas and chicken and burger and frozen veggies and canned veggies and milk and cheese and eggs and tortillas.
Then home for a peaceful and relaxing evening. ha. Charlotte Claire threw a "D" battery, it hit Camille squarely in the forehead. It was one of those you-could-hear-it-hit ones, that also hits me in the gut. But she is okay. We put new batteries in Charlotte Claire's little light up aquarium singy-thing that goes on her crib. She goes to bed so nicely when that is up and running. And we put away two loads of clean clothes from the couch, hung them all up. And we got out clothes for tomorrow, had a nice healthy snack of yogurt and mini carrots.
Okay, I just proof-read this...and it seems like I think I know all the answers. My kids can be awful, don't get me wrong. They can yell back at me, they can be out- and -out rebellious and do the opposite of what I say. And these things DO have to be dealt with. But when I am keeping an eye on myself during it all, and praying for wisdom, then it goes well.














9 comments:

Tereza said...

You know I'm so glad you write!! So true...the bible DOES say not to provoke the children. All those little things that are so annoying....are annoying cause I let them be. Most of the time the kids aren't as awful as they seem in the moment. Often I've scolded one of them harshly only to find out later that they didn't even mean for whatever it was to happen. It's been on my mind to think WELL of the children. My friends who was visiting us today is like this and it's so refreshing.....

well thankyou for this post....
your sister int he same battle!

Book Lover said...

You are an awesome mom! your children are very fortunate to have you. I feel so bad for those litte twin boys. What gifts they are! That lady needs a wakeup call.
Hope your week goes well

Kim Chrisman

Anonymous said...

To me, you never come across as a know it all. I too find it sad how most of the people I know are happy when kids finally start school, go back to school after the holidays etc. Says a lot about our society and state of the world. I for one wish mine could stay little forever, what is more beautiful than a little cuddly dependent child.
I love reading your blog, thank you for being real and honest.

Anonymous said...

You don't know it all, no worries. But you got the essential parts that many miss, and that is worth all the perfectly clean houses in the world.

"We are our own worst enemies, and people just do not see it. There are so many things and people and circumstances to blame for how awful I react to things, but that is all a lie. It is alway ME, my sin, that causes the problem. When I fight that, say NO, then it starts to go well."
Thanks for writing this, I need to hear it.
I don't know if yoiu need to go out more to see how awful some people are. It's so tempting to start blaming other people for our faults, and to indulge in selfishness, because " others do much worse". Recently I have been really tempted to blame things on my husband and to ask him for money because he spends so much I should have as much for my own things... I realized it was so stupid! I'm glad I didn't say anything and instead we had a talk about our finances,because we are a team, not two competitors. I wish I could be done with sins and temptations once and for all. Every time I can feel like the blind man we was healed: all in a sudden I open my eyes on my behavior and my plans, and I realize they are not inspired by a peaceful and loving spirit. Then I can turn around and bring peace in the house.
Della thanks for sharing this, because I look up to you. We are all sinners, but not everyone has the guts to talk about their trials on their blogs. :)

Kerry said...

How sad. We want twins in the worst way. We spent years with an open homestudy waiting for an older child domestic adoption. We never adopted because all the caseworkers felt we had too many children and could just have more of our own!

I was sad to find out that I'm only carrying one. It would be my dream come true to adopt a set of twins! Some people don't know how good they have it!

Sherah said...

That was really good to hear, and reminds me of what one sister here told me a while back, she has 10 children and they're about your kids' ages. She said her goal each day is to remain in rest no matter what comes her way. That really spoke to me because it is so simple!

Yesterday my 10 year old daughter was pouting and grouchy and plain 'ol MAD because we told her she couldn't spend the night with the neighbor girl, who we see as not such a good influence on her. Ooooh boy, was she mouthy and sassy and talking mean to the other kids.

I was talking with my husband about how we have to be in rest no matter what her flesh stirs up in us - no matter how riled I feel like getting or yelling back. They really know how to push those buttons at that age! But as the adult, as the one who is to teach my child about Jesus - how else will they know Him if not through me? Anyway, good to read what you wrote, good reminder for the start of a new week!

Eighteen said...

Thank you for posting this. A reminder to me to be more patient with my children... and my husband.

Karen said...

Great post! I admire the way you frequently take lots of kids out with you. I find it quite a challenge to take mine shopping and manage multiple carts or strollers.

Renata said...

What a great post - thanks for the wisdom. You have so much experience & I love hearing some of it. That lady with the twins in Mc's made me so sad - what a horrible attitude.