tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!!!

Suzanne Eleanor...she crocheted a chain, and made it into a headband. I think her Auntie Kim needs to show her some new stitches....
The princesses like to brush hair. I let them brush until I realized that Camille's side was being formed into a giant tangle at the bottom. This picture is taken after we watched, "Wallace and Gromit", during which I fell asleep like five times....(it is easy to see from this picture that I have a long way to go in the weight loss department, but thank you for the encouragement everyone!)

Yesterday....so busy! The foyer is finished, although it needs another coat in some areas...shh, we are leaving it like it is. I am tired of having it a work zone, it needs to go back together...ha, I am tired of twisting arms to get it done. I did the trim, but I cannot get on a ladder, or I would rather not.

Mirielle painted trim on a few outside doors yesterday, Mali got on the ladder and washed the front of the house (our house faces North, the sun never shines on the front, and it gets this green stuff growing, yuck...)but we ran out of bleach, so the work has halted. I cleaned out the little pool and took the kids swimming, then went on the treadmill,did laundry, vacuumed, then took the school kids in the pool....no wonder I was falling asleep on the couch last night.

This morning when I woke up bright and early for my walk...I tried my darndest to walk myself out of it. I was too tired yesterday, I told myself. But I realized I can't listen to that, and up I got. Walking on these summery mornings is so sweet. Rosie is learning a bit to walk without pulling, which is nice.

I was planning on shopping today, but Mirielle has an appointment so she is taking the old gold car (Old Goldie), and Sam needs to be driven and picked up from a state test...if I take the big van shopping, Joseph won't have a vehicle to bring Sam...blah, details....

Tomorrow night, Benjamin is coming home!! Yay.

But today is also a sad day for me. It is Robert William's birthday...my 14th child...and how can I say it was his birthday when he wasn't really born? How can there be anything so sad as a baby that doesn't breathe and cry? It is just as sad today as it was on that day 8 years ago, June 16th 2003. Margaret, my ninth child, graduated from kindergarten that day. I didn't know then that Jonathan would be born ten months later. Or that I would be blessed with Charlotte Claire and Camille. Life goes on, but when I think of him, of holding him, and, how little and helpless and sweet he was, I still cry. All I wanted was for him to breathe, against all odds...it is a very hard thing to accept.

No one here will probably even remember, which is okay, I guess. They were sad, but they didn't meet him. I lied and told them how beautiful he was, but - he really wasn't. Well, to me, he was, but I thought it would be too much for the kids to handle...so for them, it was sad, but not like it was for me.

I don't want to have a weepy day, but I have already cried for Robert, and I have cried for a girl I didn't even know who lived in the small city and was killed by her boyfriend...she was a nurse who worked with Emily, in her late twenties....so so so sad.

One thing about suffering loss, it makes me more aware other people walking around have their stories too, they have their sufferings, and who knows what they are dealing with when they look grumpy or act all impatient...anyway, too much to think about right now, princesses are hungry.....