don't worry, enola....

Your baby will not be bratty like Camille. Babies can vary, of course, different sleeping preferences, different personalities. But babies basically take the cue from mommy. When mommy picks up fussy baby, cuddles and feeds baby, that teaches baby what to expect. When baby reaches a reasonable age, usually around 10 months to a year, and moves into his or her own room, and baby wakes up in the night, mommy gets to change the cue. Mommy can just hug the baby, and leave, or not go in at all. Baby will not like it. In my limited experience, baby learns quickly to sleep through the night. Out of the 15, I have had a few exceptions. One I nursed well into my next pregnancy. And somewhere along the line I broke one of my rules, which was, once the baby is weaned, and mommy is getting ready for the next baby, if baby wakes during the night, no bottle. I have broken that rule. Rules are, after all, made to be broken.

Camille, I hate to admit, is very spoiled, and sweet and fuzzy and I just love her to pieces. I cannot bear the thought of making her cry in the night. I know she would learn quickly, but I am pretty sure she is my last baby, so I am doing okay with getting up with her, even though I get tired. Prolonging the inevitable. But believe me, if I were pregnant again, or having another baby in the next month or two, as was the case for many of the babies, I would get her out of my room and sleeping through the night.

My point: mommy sets the cue. Basically. There are exceptions to every rule. There are needier babies, but usually when a mom says her baby is needy, it is the mom who get into the habit of taking the baby into bed, or whatever.

Anyway, anyone who reads this and thinks scary thoughts of sleeplessness for months ahead, take heart. Camille is just spoiled.

I was thinking about a few things I have learned along the way. I am certainly no expert, but there are some basic things I learned from my mother about being a mom.....

1. Never threaten something you aren't going to do. Kids are smart.

2. Think before you speak. Once you give an ultimatum or issue a consequence, stick with it.

3. Start as you mean to go on.

4. Do not waste food. Take only a little, you can always have more if it is really good.

5. Never take the last one. Make sure everyone has had some before you take more.

6. Manners, manners, manners. Kids are perfectly capable of eating and drinking in such a way that if they are ever invited to the White House, they would be fine. How to teach them that? Sit with them at the table. Gently remind them. Show them by example. Napkins, not sleeves. Napkins, not licking fingers. Please and thank-you. Sitting down and not getting up until they have been excused.

7. Let your no be no, and your yes be yes. If you do change your mind, let the kid know that you are allowed to change your mind, but if you do it too often, you do it to your own detriment. Kids know that if mom caves, it is worth bugging and bugging....so, save yourself some grief, and mean it when you say no. I am always trying to work on this one. I hate myself when I give in....but sometimes I do.

8. If kids learn to respect their own house and furniture, they will respect other peoples' property too. Even if the house and furniture are old and dumpy....

9. Wash their hands after they eat. They soon catch on that this is part of the eating process, and will not even think of getting down from the table without being washed. This saves the furniture, even if it is old and dumpy.


Oh, everyone has their own rules. One of my daughters has helped at least 4 different families in their homes for extended time periods. One family had a rule that the kids had to eat everything on their plate. (we don't have that as a rule, just a strong suggestion), but they were allowed to slam doors, which we don't allow at all. Another family let their kids eat food anywhere they pleased, and it was gross....but they were respectful and loving kids. So, we all do things different, and there is no right or wrong. But as a parent, I actually make my life easier, and do my kids a favor by having some limits. Laziness actually makes more work, and cultivates slobby kids.

I tried to make split pea soup, again, and the peas stayed too hard, again. Does anyone have a suggestion? Is it that our water is too hard or something? I soaked the dried peas overnight, then rinsed them this morning, and Emily boiled them, let them set, then simmered them for hours, with a nice ham bone. It tasted okay, but the peas need to be softer. I let the whole pot cool, and refrigerated it. Maybe tomorrow? I will simmer them for a while again.....

Someone left a comment on here from a reality t.v. station.....and we have been joking around here about it. Margaret started a thing several months ago, and has actually kept a running tally, of the reasons we cannot be on reality t.v. Every time something funny happens, she will say, "reason #122 why we cannot be on reality t.v....." I am too tired to list any of them tonight....but I will do it soon.

I really hope this post doesn't come off as being critical and judgemental, it isn't meant to be. I just see that it is difficult to be a mom. And sometimes I see moms just worn out from being nagged, when she's already said "no"....and the kids know she will cave.....and moms worn out from cleaning up messes that could be prevented.....and it is almost funny that I put advice on here, it seems to me that it is a miracle that my kids are growing up to be respectable adults.....so I guess along with setting limits, there is something else needed: parents that get down on their knees to pray to God for wisdom and grace in raising kids.