a day at home...I think....

Today is one of those days that is so lovely and beautiful and nice, I am thankful I am an at home mom....the weatherman described the forecast today as "flawless". A few puffy clouds sailing in a clear blue sky, high seventies, low humidity...my walk this morning was pretty nice, too. Just a slight breeze, perfect temperature, sunshine....too bad two tractors drove by and made Rosie flip out. She is a high-strung nut. A big, strong, heavy nut. I got her calmed down, then our neighbor across the street drove by, and Rosie got all crazy again. She wants to chase these things, these trucks and tractors! She wants to herd them, I guess. I just make her sit down, and hold on for dear life. See, we live on a country road, and on some of our walks, no cars go by at all.....

We are planning our vacation, or should I say, "short jail term". Tents? 15 people in tents? It seems so. Our big camper is so big, so hard for Paul to tow, needs new tires, ect, $$$, ect...so. We are tenting. We decided to go for only four nights...then if it goes well, perhaps we will go again. Hopefully Emily and Abigail can plan it so they can go too...how many tents for seventeen people? How many tents will they let us put up? We might need two sites....I am not going to think about the details yet. It is great fun to talk to the kids about though. Bears, especially. There are around three thousand six hundred black bears in the Adirondacks Mountains. . Sometimes they get brave and wander through the campgrounds in search of food, like Yogi Bear. The last time we camped, one came into the site one night and chewed up a baby bottle we left on the picnic table. One of the older kids was so scared (it was a loud bear), she poked her head out of her tent and threw up. Several years ago, there was a troublesome bear terrorizing the campers, it ripped up someone's screenhouse and tried to drag away some coolers. It came walking through our site, not a care in the world, while Paul and I scrambled into the van...the kids were all tucked in in our pop-up camper, the bear smelled the camper from end to end.....it was scary, but not really dangerous. The bears aren't there to attack anyone, they just want food. Anyway, the kids are excited....

One thing I think I shall do today is go somewhere to get some things for a super yummy salad. We used the last of the lettuces last evening. It is much easier to resist cookies and licorice and chips and popcorn if I have things I enjoy, that are okay for me to have. This battle isn't getting any easier for me. Well, a tiny bit easier. But the Muncher inside me is still alive and well, and there are times the Muncher just wants to EAT! My brain is rational, tells Muncher NO, you have eaten sufficiently, SHUT UP, NO....but. It is still there. But I figure the worst case senario is that day after day, evening after evening, I shall have to battle this Muncher. It won't kill me. I can do this. Even if it is for the rest of my life. Because: this battle is worth it! I would rather fight this and be able to walk and run and fit into normal clothes and have more energy, and enjoy life more. I have heard more than one person say that loving food is harder than being an alcoholic because you cannot survive without food. You can't just give it up and walk away. It is something you have to deal with, the separation of what is needed for strength and nourishment, and what is just feeding the MUNCHER. To me, going into a grocery store is a suffering. I can't just NOT GO anymore. Everyone is different, I see some people walking around in the store, skinny as can be, they don't even seem to be tortured by the smell of donuts or by the bags of peanut M&M's....everyone has their battles, I guess, and this one is mine.

Princesses have library books they want read....