just a very bad dream....

...I was going with the title A Terrible Nightmare, but let's not be TOO dramatic.  So I'm back here in the land of winter, the trees white and glistening, the deck steps slippery, brrr.  While visiting Grandma in Florida, she would often say, "Now you see why I live down here?", and "Don't you wish you lived down here?"   Yes to the first, emphatic NO to the second.  It's lovely to visit, I told her.  I do love a trip to Florida.  I was never one of those kids who traveled, and it was like the girl in my class had been to the moon or something, Florida, harrumph.  I was married with five kids before my first adventure that far south, Paul was offered to take some sort of work seminar at The Disney Dolphin, and I was allowed to accompany, with little baby Joseph.  

Anyway.  I love a good visit, but for me, New York is IT.  I've been to Ireland and France and Norway, and Jamaica and the Dominican Republic, and I've been to Washington state, Oregon, California, Oklahoma, Virginia, Conneticut, and all those east coast states, and drove across the country to Cali, and to Oklahoma, Arizona, and I've been to Toronto and Ontario (Ottowa):  lovely, fun, beautiful...but my heart is in NewYork. Friends, family, rolling hills, lakes, mountains, waterfalls, green grass and those autumn leaves, the stillness of a winter day...

So my bad dream last night:  Paul and I were young, and in Florida, and we found the perfect apartment.  He was like a happy little puppy dog, just so excited.  We were both in college, and had a big group of friends.  When someone passed along a joint, Paul took it, no question, then passed it right by me, but Oh no, mister, my dream self said as I grabbed for it, if we're doing this, I'm doing this.   Then, in the dream, I hoped it didn't contain fentanyl.

The whole time that Dream Paul was bouncing off the walls with excitement, I was happy for him, but filled to the brim with sadness and homesickness.  We didn't even have the kids yet, but I felt like I was leaving my very soul behind in NY....I wanted to stomp my feet and scream and dig my heals in, but he was so happy!

I asked him, when we were there, if he would ever want to move there, he said no.  I mean, I get it.  No ice, no shoveling, no dealing with it all.  I like the governor, too.  But the older kids, and the grandkids, I couldn't leave them. 

Kathryn and Darius brought the kids here yesterday, with car seats and beds and bottles and diapers and and and.  They went to bed so very nicely for us.  Rhys started crying, baby monitor right next to my bed, so I heard her loud and clear!  I filled her bottle, changed her diaper, rocked her a bit, and put her back in the playpen....she was content with that, so I sneaked out the door and back into bed...wide awake, at 4:45.  Eventually I dozed off, right as I was to get up to see Miss Char off on the bus..phew, I don't miss the get-up-in-the-night days....over 25 years of them I had...well, Emily was 22 and 1/2 when Camille was born, so if Cam slept through the night at a year old, then about 24 years....give or take...there were nights in there when the one year old was sleeping well, and I had the good old pregnancy insomnia...

Those little ones are still sleeping, it's almost nine o'clock!  

Today, Grace is is coming over with Grant and Ruth, so it will be a little zoo-y in here.

Yesterday, Camille and I went to a few stores to stock up on groceries.  We left early because the forecast was foreboding, nothing like getting caught in heavy snow.  It was fine, beautiful in fact...the landscape all sparkly...our ride home with coffees almost free from Dunkin points.  

We got things put away, she went off to do school work, I vacuumed and mopped and did laundry, then Paul and I went off in the thick of the snow to pick up a dryer from marketplace.  Treacherous.  The visibility was okay, but the roads were so icy!  We could see tracks where people really zig-zagged, and we slid a little, but we were in a truck with four wheel drive.  As we neared the village, a minivan, inexperienced in winter weather driving, decided to pull out in front of us....WHAT?!!!  She slid right around, fishtailed, was right across both lanes in front of us...I yelled, STOP, and Paul yelled, I CAN'T, but we somehow drove around the van....cars were coming from the other direction, not sure what happened...it was crazy.  At the next intersection, an SUV went sliding through the red light, horn blaring, obviously couldn't stop....phew, not my kind of weather...

And yeah, I still like NewYork...ha.  Achilles is awake....so bye!!!!