brr...sunny and cold here

23 degrees outside. The furnace stopped working last night so Paul was up late getting it going. So we are tired. But hey, it is Friday!!!

My house thinks it is Monday. I was gone so long yesterday that I didn't do my usual picking up, and it shows. How in the world does it possibly get so messy so fast? The tiny baby couch monster grows overnight into a beast!

Suzanne is home again today. Her ear is still hurting, and is draining lots of...well, yuck to say, but - green stuff. I am SO happy to have her home though. She got up and put the kettle on for tea, which makes Camille really happy. Suze is so good with Camille. And she is so nice to have here, just talking my ear off since she has me almost to herself.

I am happy today. The scale was kind to me. Yesterday I had gotten back to the lowest weight I have been so far on this journey, a weight I have been at a few times in January, once for three days. Imagine my surprise and delight when this morning I was TWO pounds lighter than that! I'm sure it will fluctuate, but it is a move in the right direction. I really think I need to pay attention to those cheat-y little things more, like a few M&M's or the cookie dough I love so much. I basically eat really well, but extra calories can add up so quickly. And I have been exercising every day. I really want to keep this momentum and get some more pounds off!

It is such a mental thing. Food - meant to sustain, but it also comforts and blesses. How better to show my family I love them then to make them a nice dinner? And they love me when I crack out a bag of Starburst when they are watching a movie. I do admit that sleep deprivation and being extremely busy in years past led to me finding solace in that afternoon coffee and snack, and sometimes when the rest of the family got to go to bed and I was still up with a fussy baby, I wandered out to the kitchen and had something yummy, after all, I deserved it. But I am now awake to that tendency. I have caught on. Habits are hard to break, but I am a different person now. I saw the ginger snaps in the store the other day, and I longed to just buy a bag, and eat them mindlessly with coffee. I am not totally free from the temptations, of course. But I realize more and more that just because I THINK of something, just because I am tempted, does NOT mean I have to give in to it. No, I am not strong. I just want to feel better in the long run, and those temporary fixes take me in the wrong direction. It is a daily battle, and some days are harder than others. Because I like to eat. I don't know if that will ever change, and sometimes I honestly feel overwhelmed and like, "how can I live like this forever?"...but life is lived one day at a time, and if I can be faithful today, in this temptation, in this situation, then it is bearable.

When I run out of things to say, I like to say goodbye...