This one is better of Paul...he is much more handsome in person...not that it matters, he is wonderful. I cried myself to sleep last night. Because I felt bad for feeling sorry for myself, and because I felt sorry for myself. Because my one incision just plain killed, and I didn't want to take any pain meds because I knew I had to get up this morning. I took some anyway. Healing is such a mental thing. I was starting to think I should be feeling better by now, and after a few innocent comments from people last night made me feel like I was making a big deal out of a simple surgery, wah. Paul asked me if I was okay this morning. How do I answer that? He really was wondering if there was anything he could do to help me, but what could he do? He was going to work. I told him I just want to feel better. I am done being tired and having pain. But guess what? I need to endure just a bit longer!
Overall, I really don't feel sorry for myself. I have much to be thankful for, much to look forward to. But life is a journey, and there is a time and a season for everything. I am rushing this season of healing, feeling a bit of pressure to get on with life, yet I have no control over pain or fatigue. I am interested in getting all I can out of this situation, of hearing what God has to say to me in these days.
My Camille is still sleeping, I am looking forward to having a quiet day with her. There is no need for me to get the house looking spiffy today, if you stop in, sorry! It is usually spotless, ha. I say this easily, but it will be really hard to just let things go. I don't have anyone here today who can pick things up for me, except of course Miss Camille. Joseph is working, the college kids left for classes, and all the school kids went to school today.
Life goes on. Tomorrow morning, I have to take the van to town for inspection by 9 a.m. Samuel's new glasses came in, and he wants me to take him to pick them up. Sonja informed me that her sneakers are WAY too small, and the kitten really needs to go to the vet. (she is in heat, try explaining THAT to Jonny....)
Also, when Joseph took Sam to Walmart to return his cans ($36 worth!), I sent him with my credit card and a small list, which included half and half for the coffee. Oops, he forgot it. And, as Aaron exclaimed this morning, he bought organic bananas! I told Joseph they were alot more expensive, and he said, "maybe you won't ask me to shop anymore." Nice try Joe, I said, but you are not getting out of that easily.
Paul brought home a gallon of organic milk the other day, $5.99! Regular milk is only like two bucks! Do I have to do everything myself? It is actually pretty funny, because where would the trials be if everyone did everything right around here?
So today I will just let things go, relax, maybe bribe Camille to take a nap with me...I could put a movie in, and doze while she watches it...she is still sleeping, so perhaps I should just stretch out on the couch...
8 comments:
Oh my GOSH you look SO young, Della!! I honestly thought Paul was standing with one of his daughters in the thumbnail picture that comes up on my reader before I clicked it to read the whole thing and see the larger version. But I knew none of your girls have hair like that so was confused, lol.
Seriously you look so good in that picture, I think you need to give yourself more credit on the weight loss end of it. I'm thinking you're changing more than what the scale says, a fat shift of sorts? Anyhow, keep up the good work, my friend!
Everything you wrote, crying yourself to sleep, wondering WHEN it is going to get back to normal already - I feel like I was just there. Totally. And I KNOW that yes I do have a baby out of it, but like you said --- life is always going to bring its trials no matter what.
I am so happy to be coming out of that fogginess now -- you will heal, you will get back to your exercise, and glorious summer is coming!!! Life is only going to get better for you from here on out. =) ((((((hugs)))))
I know!!! It's so easy to wanna rush through every stage!!! Hope your nap works out. Funny about your shopper son:) Yup quite and interesting life!
Having an internal organ removed is not small surgery. Just because on the outside you look ok doesn't mean your insides are. Your body still needs time to heal. Plus anaesthetic can have a massive effect on a person. It takes at least a week for me to get over a general! Take your time and listen to your body if the h ouse is a mess then who cares there is always next week to tidy up. Hope you have had your nap x
Oh my gosh, you look so prettyyyyyy!
I must've missed the post about the surgery. I'm sorry you are in pain. :( Don't worry about your house right now.
$2 for milk? I wish. Around here (Alabama) it's $3.59/gallon, and that's buying it from Sam's club.
OK, you got through the worst of the after days of your surgery, which you are NOT making a big deal out of. Surgery is surgery, and you are gonna hurt and be sore. And you got the crying out of your system. That's good. Now you can heal! And I have to tell you, YOU LOOK GREAT! I think you must of lost a lot in your face, and neck...which is where I always lost first! Good for you for getting out and not just stay at home. You are doing GREAT!
Thank you for the encouragement! Just the thought of summer, Sherah, makes me happy...but I would certainly like to lose another twenty pounds before it arrives..$3.59 a gallon for milk? Wow. I shouldn't complain, we only pay about $2.19 or so here.
I echo Sherah's comments...when I first saw the photo I thought, "Now which daughter is this!" You look wonderful and this photo truly shows your weight loss. You deserve a lot of credit for sticking with it.
I agree with the others...surgery is no easy ride. Take it easy on yourself. I haven't had surgery in years (thankfully) but I remember being tired for MONTHS following it. It really took be about 3 months before I thought, "Sometime I might be normal again." and six months before I truly felt 100% myself.
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