can I please go back to bed?

I had every good reason to take that nap yesterday, but there simply wasn't enough time.

Not that it would help today anyway.

I am staying home today. I hope. I have no plans to leave the house, except to take Miss Rosie down the road a bit with Camille.

All the kids went to school today, and Camille is still sleeping. Rosie has been walked and pet and fed and watered, and is zonked out in her cage. So it is deliciously quiet in here. I am wondering why I didn't dive back in bed as soon as that bus pulled away...

One thing I need to set straight...I still have a LONG way to go in my weight loss...my face does look thinner, but I still have some jiggling going on here, serious jiggling. The pictures I posted don't depict just how much chubbiness is still hanging on around the middle. But I am getting serious again. This time for sure. I found that because I was "recovering", I was being way too lenient in what I ate...partly because carbs settle with my new digestive system better, partly because at heart, I am a Carb-a-holic who took advantage of being able to eat things like pumpkin muffins. But why would I think I can also eat those Swiss chocolate covered peanut butter Valentine hearts? If I give myself an inch, I take a mile.

So no more inches. I will just love the carbs from afar, they are my poision. They do not fill me, they make me feel sluggish, and just want more of them.

Last night I made myself the yummiest salad. I bought a bag of sliced almonds. A handful in a saucepan on low heat, tossed around and toasted, yum! Top off the salad with those and a few craisins, and yum.

Front page news here the other day: A local woman walked down the Red Carpet at the Oscar's in a dress from off the rack! I thought, wow, a fifteen dollar dress...but no, it was $575. I wouldn't pay that for a wedding dress. MY wedding dress was thirteen bucks. Were we really supposed to be impressed?

I bought Sam a few things in Sears last night. Two pairs of jeans for $10 each, a shirt for $2.99, and one for $4.99. (his friends don't read this, right?). Then some new sneakers for seventeen dollars in Target. I think it is important to keep the kids neat and clean and well-dressed. Because there are so many of them, I couldn't just go buy things full-priced, so I have to shop those clearance racks. Our kids get their winter coats in the spring, and their bathing suits in the fall.

Miss Camille is up, dashing all hopes for a morning snooze, ha. She came running out of her room in just a pair of sparkly shoes. She is dressed now in a fancy gold dress, eating a bagel and watching, "SuperReader". Oh dang what am I going to do next year? She is a total sunshine. Twenty seven years I have been home with kids...from that tiny baby Emily all those years ago, full circle to just one little girl here now...of course the afternoons are a different story altogether, especially on cold winter days when they have so much energy and it is no fun to go outside...spring can come any time now!

So Samuel didn't appreciate the shopping so much. He grumbled and asked repeatedly if we were done yet...I finally told him he might be missing out on treasures from heaven because of all his complaining. He retorted, rather loudly, "Oh, so I am going to hell because I don't like shopping??!" Shh, I said. Of course not. I am merely suggesting perhaps you change your attitude a little bit, Mr. I am not going to eat all this food, so just help me and quit asking when we are leaving....

The thing is, Samuel is really good company. He is so funny and never gets sulky or moody like most teenagers. He loves talking about World War II, of course, and I have read enough books that I can carry on some good conversations with him. We also can have some really good fellowship, he is in a new bible study group, and is totally interested in it. He is very conscious of being faithful in his days. He might have some degree of Asperger's, but he is a huge sweetie of a kid, and I wouldn't change a thing about him. (after we got home, he just kept saying how he was looking forward to normal days when we didn't go to the small city AND down near the mall in the same day...change is not easy for him, and this totally messed up his routine)

Anyway, the truth is, rather than have a good excuse for the house being messy, I would rather have the house all clean. But that isn't in the cards for today, anyway, so I will just putter around and do a few things and leave it at that. I am really tired out from yesterday, I felt like I had run a marathon, not that I have the foggiest what that feels like, although some day I dare say I would like to find out.

It is getting lighter out in the morning, so the first thing I will do is return to my long walk with Rosie. Then perhaps some light lifting so my arms don't feel so lethargic. ha, just the thought of it makes me yawn this morning.

Camille hates when I change my voice and say I am someone else. I just told her I was Miss Bunny, her new kindergarten teacher. I talked to her in a different voice, and she just got this look on her face, like it just might be true. I say things like, "Your Mom said I could sit in her chair and wear her sweater. Do I look like your Mama?" When she starts yelling, "You ARE Mama!", I stop and tell her she is right, I was just kidding. I just asked her if she wanted me to be Miss Bunny again, and she said, "NO!". So I will behave.

As I look out the window into the cold dreary morning, I remind myself that spring will come, leaves will grow on those branches, birds will sing again. I won't feel this tired, and like I was stabbed in the tummy forever. I hope. I will have more energy again, especially if I stay away from the Evil Carbs, and I will feel good. And...the most important thing, I will not wait until all those things happen to be glad! I will be thankful for today, and that God is doing a work in me...