what is the point?

 ...but first, before we get to the point, let's talk about learning from your mistakes, and another BEFORE and AFTER.

The other day, I wandered in to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, head in the clouds, operating on auto, in a daze, whatever my excuse was, and...neglected to put the cup under the drip of coffee.  Well, I'll never do THAT again, I thought as I cleaned it up.  well ha.  This fine morning, I wandered in again, same scenario, got distracted because oh dear, the sink needs some bleaching, then oh no, there's a stinkbug!  (BTW, I don't know if you have those creatures where you live (they arrived on the East coast of the USA a few decades ago from Asia, (Pennsylvania, 1998) they are very destructive of plants and crops, and are hard to get rid of!  And, if you squish them, they smell terrible!)  Anyway, I put that stinkbug in the bowl of bleach I was using to wipe out the sink, and it did not die, no, it actually swam in the bleach.  If that little bug can withstand that, I can not squish it, so I let it go outside, which goes against my own strict stinkbug policy of KILLING EVERY ONE OF THEM. 

Anyway, you can see where this is going, yes, I did it again.

There, all fixed.  

Cleaning up messes is one thing, but when you've made them yourself, harrumph.

Yesterday, I did some painting.  We had this little wood table from Paul's parents' house, painted brown on the top, the legs were mostly bare wood, some hints they were something else once upon a time.  It was an ugly table, so...I decided to prime it, forgot to take a proper BEFORE pic, but here's one from after I started...upside down.

And another...

The top was painted a milk chocolate brown, yummy for chocolate, horrid for tables.

After:

The legs are only primed, I like the rustic-y look, the top is painted with sea-salt, which is a hint of green.  I also painted the front door, both sides, and the deck door, both sides, with the sea-salt.  It was already that color, and I love it, but needed touching up.

And, on to The Point...

I've been thinking a lot about being a mom, and what a huge-0 rip-off it seems to be that you put in so much effort into raising your kids, then off they go, barely looking back, skipping into their adult hood. 

 The diapers, (average of 2 1/2 years of 7 a day, 6,387 each, x16=102,200). (The first 6 kids were cloth diapered, which I washed, the first two kids I didn't even have a dryer...), the dishes, the laundry...the homework, the meals, the shoes they needed and outgrew in the blink of an eye....

You know, the toil, the sleeplessness, the MESSES!  The projects, and interests, fads (rollerblades, those milk pods, silly bands, Pokemon, basketball, bikes, skateboards, Legos, K'nex, sketch pads, acrylic paints, Easy Bake supplies, a rock tumbler!).  The ER trips, the fevers and rocking sick babies, wondering when to call the doctor, the bandaids and the heart aches, the stories and cuddles and singing songs in the big van, the adventures and the long orders at the McDonald's drive through...

It was my life, it took 110% of me, I was tired, and busy, and my life had meaning.   I was a stay-at-home mom who rarely stayed home!  

Now, I don't know who I am.  I'm not sure if it's a mid-life crisis, or just the feeling of barreling towards an empty nest at a million miles an hour, or that I just am not used to having some time on my hands.  When the kids are all gone during the day, I fill my time, easily, I putter around and don't get bored, but I feel like I should be doing MORE.  I want a job, ha, but I don't really want to WORK.  

Yesterday, one of the kids asked me what do you do all day?  Well, I sweep and mop and clean up, and yesterday I did all that painting, I water the plants and...what DO I do all day?

Yesterday, I also went to Ollies.  It's a discount store, I had bought some chocolate covered almonds there a few weeks ago, and they were rancid.  They were seriously so bad, I ate like three or four of them just to make sure, I wanted them to be delicious, but nope.  So, I sent a little email, because I thought they should know.  Well, the manager called me, thanked me for the heads up, then said I could bring my receipt in, get my $2.99 back, and get a coupon for 20% off the total purchase.

Well, that sounds all fine and dandy, and it sure was nice of her, but oh my goodness embarrassing.

"Hi, I'm the lady who complained about the almonds."  I had to tell the story to 3 different people, they each nodded, yes, they heard about those almonds, and by then, so did half the customers in the lines at the front of the store.  I wanted to slink down and say to forget it, but hey, 20% off is 20% off, right?

I got some granola bars for the girls, they like to bring them to school...and some insect repellent, some gum, a new rug for the kitchen...

See, I do stuff!

Here's a plant I haven't killed yet.  See how the deck railing is peeling already?  We just refinished the whole thing last year!  I think it's the harsh winter weather, because it was really good quality stain, Behr.  

Anyway.  I am not down in the dumps, or depressed,  just feeling a little unnecessary sometimes.  But then I think of The Point of being a parent...it's to lead your children to their OWN TWO FEET.  When they get on those feet, when they start adulting, when they seek careers and buy cars and move out and get on with their lives, you've done what you set out to do.  

I am proud of them, of what they've become.  My nurse practitioner daughter, my three R.N's, the accountant, my Army medic Afghanistan vet who's a homeowner and married with two kids, my other Army vet from The Old Guard and married with the second child coming in August, my artist son is married with a nice little house in town, and the rest too...only four left at home, Miss Sonja done with her first year of college, starting nursing school in the fall (she got ALL A's!, a 4.0 average!), Jonathan who is going to go to school for something interesting, not sure what yet, finishing up his homeschooling...then the two "little" girls...both on the Principal's High Honor Roll, averages in the upper 90's.  

What?!  It's my blog, I can brag if I want to, ha.

I had an opportunity to take an office job, secretary, pay bills, answer phones, and I considered it for about an hour, then I realized that summer is coming, and I still have kids here.  Kids who need to go on adventures, and swim the afternoons away with their mom, kids who still need guidance and encouragement and attention.  

So I don't know what the future holds for me.  I know I'll be working at some point, doing something, but for now, I do still have some responsibility here at home.  And we all know that it still takes a lot of energy to raise teenagers, four of them here!  Plus, there can be some heavy duty gatherings here when they all come over to visit.  Plus, being grandma, there are days when the little ones come over during the week.

Today, I am going to Costco.  There is a work weekend at our church this weekend, Emily and I have planned breakfast, lunch, dinner on Saturday, and breakfast on Sunday, to feed 60-70 people.  We have other people helping with the meals, but I am buying all the food, and it's a LOT.   We also have a barbecue planned for Sunday afternoon for 60 people, I am buying the food for that too.  I have lists and lists, and will be going to Costco today, a few places tomorrow, to get everything.  Then Saturday I'll be in the kitchen all day at church, and Sunday too.  So don't feel sorry for me, I am NOT BORED, ha.

(I am thankful I don't work, and am able to do these things!)

If you're still reading this, you have a long attention span!  Now, off I go to Costco....