19 under one roof?

I was wondering if I should have changed the name of my blog, since Emily Anne is gone for a year....but.....it will all even up at Thanksgiving, if all goes well. Yes, we are expecting a new baby! At least that is what I deduced from the four positive pregnancy tests I took. See, I had sort of lost track of things lately, with Billy dying....I have felt foggy-minded, even more than usual. Then the other day I was in Wal-mart, dawdling around with the kids while the big white van got an oil change, and I remembered I needed some powder. (Shower to Shower isn't paying me to say that I am addicted)....Joseph was with me, so I asked him to take the kids though the toy department while I went and got a few things. It wasn't until I was walking blissfully away with only Miss Camille sitting very nicely in the cart that I realized that I had no idea if I was over, under, or what.....so I picked up a two pack of Answer Early (they aren't paying me either, but they should.).....I got the bright idea, after all these years, to pay for them in the pharmacy department, instead of stragegically packing them in the cart so no one will see them....and trying to get them through the checkout line with without one of the older kids, or at least one who knows how to read, looking at me with questioning eyes....(One time, several years ago, when I had 10 or 11 kids, I bought an E.P.T. at Walmart. The cashier didn't drag it over the desensitizing thing at the checkout, so it beeped when I was leaving, with all the kids with me. The door lady came over and started rummaging through my bags to see what was making the alarm go off. When she came across the test that I had so craftily concealed, she held it up for the entire world, at least the entire world that was in Walmart, and yelled, "It's a pregnancy test!"....Furious? Shocked? Stunned? There I was, with all the kids around me....now I think it's hilarious.....but then, I was not tickled. Anyway, I didn't even think about the tests again until I was almost home....I took the first one: very light line. I was surprised, no, really REALLY surprised. But was the line pink, or was it just the line that I was seeing and wasn't supposed to? I called my sister, and we thought hmm, maybe....I was going to wait until morning to take the other one, ha, I couldn't wait. A few hours later, I took the other one. This time it was definetely a pink line. But light. Then, before I told anyone, I for some reason went on the website called, "peeonastick.com", and found out that the Answer EarlyResults tests had had the problem of being false positive. Great. So, I took a little trip to the neighborhood Kinney drugstore that evening, and bought a two-pack of digital, AND a two pack of FactPlus (andthey aren't paying me either).....I did the digital first. Flash, flash, flash, flash, PREGNANT

And, just for the fun of it, I took a FactPlus in the morning, and it was positive immediately, with a very dark blue line.

So, I don't know when I am due, but probably around Thanksgiving, give or take. Which makes sense. If I could accurately describe what I am feeling about this, I would say: Too good to be true. A gift. Something more than I had hoped to happen. Mixed in with temptations to be anxious and worried about spotting, bleeding, losing it. Then come the twinges of nausea, which I welcome...not because I like to be naseaus, but because it means things are going well. And, this explains why I have been so tired lately. One of my observations has been that pregnancy in one's forties is much more tiring than in one's thirties or twenties. Well, late thirties there was a difference already, too. Anyway, afternoon naps, here I come....

So, I am praying fervantly that God will bless my body, and bless this new tiny baby. I know when women get older, the miscarriage rate goes up, and the complications abound, but I have trusted God for sending the babies, now it is in His hands. But it doesn't hurt to ask....more like beg...Please, dear heavenly Father....please bless this baby....

I did tell the kids. First, on Friday night, I told the older ones. Mali, 15, seemed the most excited. She ran across the room and hugged me. Joseph was happy to hear it, so were the rest....on Saturday, I decided to tell Kathryn. Well, she said, how do you know. I told her briefly how a test works. But, she asked, how did you know to take a test?......she is growing up. Today I was shopping with Evelyn and Sonja, and I told them it would be nice to have a baby. Sonja thought we were going to adopt one, because we have been talking about that. She was a little disapointed that we are getting one the usual way. Evelyn was impressed. Jon: he asked WHERE are we going to get the new baby from? From Tonje? (she is a friend of ours who is expecting her first)......Then I realized tonight that I hadn't told Suzanne. She was thrilled. Yes, it is amazing to bring home a baby to a house full of kids, little ones who are fascinated, and older ones who just melt. (and melt me, when I see them with the baby)....

It is quiet here, but I had better get to bed. I didn't any rest today, between grocery shopping and getting the living room back in order. I don't want to be sorry in the morning.