18underoneroof

Charlotte Claire and Camille played together in Charlotte Claire's crib for a while after we got home from activity club tonight. Camille wanted out, but we had to get a picture of them in their new jammies....Like all the doll strollers/prams stacked behind the crib? I do. I just wish I had a whole big room to put them in.... I drove the big white van to activity club tonight, because Mariel is still very sick, and Paul wanted to start the floor. Apparently the most time consuming part so far has been the carpet removal. He only took up about a third, maybe only a fourth....there were the carpet tacks to deal with....all of the furniture is crammed together on the rest of the carpet. I stopped and got some pizza slices on the way home tonight, and sat in the kitchen with the kids and talked with them.....then Abigail helped me tuck them in to bed. Now just Paul and I, Aaron and Abigail and Mali and Mirielle up....3 of us are on computers, Abigail reading her book, and Paul ilnstalling floor pieces. He already broke a chunk off a piece, and commented that the couch will be there anyway....always and forever, I asked? He is going to glue it back on.

I want to help him, but it sort of a one person job.

Two weeks have passed since my brother died. Sleeplessness has plagued me. Even when Camille is sleeping, I have trouble. After I had Robert, (he was my 14th child, (when I say I have 16 kids, in my mind I know I have 17) stillborn at 6 months), it was June, I somehow survived Emily's high school graduation, and school was out for the summer....I slept most of the day, and stayed up half the night, watching baseball of all things. I couldn't get enough of the Yankees that summer. I haven't cared much for it before or since, but that is how I grieved. It only lasted a few weeks, and I slowly went back to normal, although normal is different forever now. I will always start to cry when I think of him....

Anyway, after this shocking loss of my brother, I haven't had the "luxury" of shutting out the world and dealing. No, I have had to do all the normal stuff, while feeling so out of it. But the kids are comforting. The little ones have so much affection to give. And talking to my family helps, siblings too. The school has been wonderful. They had a fundraiser, and presented the family a check, which we donated to the playground fund....there have been a few kids here and there with rude comments, but kids often don't think about the things they say.

Margaret, Joseph, and Sam are home now. Benjamin is home tonight, he is sick too. I hope we all don't get it....I a concerned about Mirielle. She has been drinking, and eating very lightly, mostly just sleeping and lying around....

Well, tomorrow will be a painful day, as far as taking care of all the kids with this big project going on....maybe I'll take them somewhere for the day.