cold monday

The living room looks much better now, than with the old blue carpet. This is my new corner, my comfy chair....

The treadmill is still in the kitchen, it will go behind this chair, in the computer/keyboard/sewing side of the room.

Here is a random shot of the new floor...all decorated with toys...yes, the room looks nice, but the kids still get to play in here. When it rains it pours...vehicle trouble. Mirielle's car is in the shop for a steering problem, and Abigail and I drove to town tonight and dropped off the big white van for the clunking problem. So, tomorrow I have to drive Paul to work so I can take Mali and Suzanne to the dentist. I also need to take Mali to get her passport, as Mirielle is so nicely taking her to Norway and France this summer. Since Mali is only 15, the law states that both mom and dad have a notorized copy of permission for the passport. They want dad to come with mom, but dad HAS to work, so they will let us get a paper for him to have notorized. Time, money, red tape. Government.

It is so cold out again here in the Northeast. Bitterly cold. At least that is how it seems after that nice weather last week. And of course in the middle of putting in the new floor, the furnace broke again. Thankfully we have the woodburner/oil furnace, so the wood fire kept us warm. My sister Cheryl's husband came over and looked at, and got us a part, which Paul was able to install today. Then he measured the hot tub and ordered a new cover. The old one is waterlogged.....we never attached the straps that tied the cover down, so we used the next best thing: rocks and bricks. Not smart. This time we'll do better.

Hot tub.....oh, hot tub. I can only go in the hot tub is the temperature is relatively cool, like body temp. No 102 or 103 lovely soaks during pregnancy. Rats. That is the absolutely only thing I can think of that I am not thrilled with about having another baby. Like I said yesterday, I don't like nausea either, but at least it is a good measure that things are going well. When I had my first miscarriage, over 20 years ago, I was twelve weeks along for my third child when I really noticed how I felt wonderful. Just great. Then I started bleeding....oh, that was a rough one. But, I had Benjamin Paul exactly one year later. I didn't miscarry again all through the years until after Jonathan was born, before I had Charlotte. I had three miscarriages in a row, not too far along pregnancies, but it was a tough time. Then I had Charlotte Claire, a very uneventful and normal pregnancy....then, I thought Camille was a miscarriage for months, because I had bled, and cramped, ect.....and she was fine all along. Anxiety wants to plague me. But I will not let it. Is a spririt. In Timothy it is written that God has not given us a spirit of fear. So: fear is not from God. And, fear is a spirit. So, why would I want to let a spirit that is not of God have power in my life? Each time I am tempted, I say NO. The thoughts come, the worry tries to edge in, and I say NO. That is the fight we are called to fight, the good fight of faith. It brings peace and rest.

So, thank you everyone for the nice comments and the prayers and well wishes. It seems so absolutely crazy, though, doesn't it? Seventeen kids? Even I am sort of dumbfounded. I am not a capable person, God has given so much grace. I am not in great shape, to say the very least, but my blood pressure and sugars have been fine during pregnancy. All I can say is that I am blessed, and it has nothing to do with me, but God who will be glorified.

Tonight after dinner I had an idea. I talked to the kids (Paul had to go work on the furnace) about not returning evil for evil. Everyone knows that is wrong. When a person does something evil or bad to me, and I return it, I am serving the devil. It doesn't matter in the least that they did something to me. If I bless in return, then I overcome evil. The devil has no power then. I asked the kids what they thought would happen if each and everyone of us in this house practiced this all day everyday. Evelyn decided it would be peaceful. We all agreed we would like that. I told them I would much rather see them make decisions to be good and faithful on their own. Then it is a blessing to me, I don't have to discipline. Just guide and encourage. Now, the whole time i was talking to them, I had a huge 290 count bag of LaffyTaffy/Nerds/ect assortment on my lap. I told them to listen carefully, I would be asking questions later....boy, they listened....

I am just a happy person right now, even more than usual. Like a hundred times a day, I think, I am going to have another baby! A little newborn! And it is wonderful. I also have to admit that I am sad/mad that Billy isn't here for the news. And my parents. Oh my gosh, my mother would tell a stranger on the street about me and all of my kids. It was her joy in life, to brag about her grandchildren, not just mine, but my brother's dozen, my other brother's ten, my sister's seven, my other brother's two, my other brother's one.....if my math is right ha this will make 49 grandchildren for my late parents. Unless we get twins, that would make fifty! I am the only one left having babies, and this is probably the last one....I mean, I will be 44 when it/he/she is born.

Rambling a little. Oh well. I have had a busy day, and this is how I relax. Oh, don't let me fool anyone, I had a very nice nap today. Very nice. But other than that I was busy.