friday.....

As Evelyn says, it is the first Friday with our new floor. And the 8th day of knowing I am pregnant. It's funny, because there is the niggling reality in my mind about pregnancy, the fatigue, the aches, swelling, headaches where I would give my baby finger for an ibuprofen, but can't because of the baby....and of course when the baby is sixteen months old like Camille, there is a sort of freedom that creeps in. She gets big enough to leave for a trip to the store. Then for an overnight. then a weekend. She can be put to bed by anyone now, not just me. Then to be giving that up, again....but all those are just the reality thoughts.....I don't dwell on them, true or not. Of course there is suffering that comes with each new baby, from the moment I find out I am expecting. The desperate wanting it to be okay. The checking each time I wipe, relief there is no spotting. The anxiety that comes small thoughts and sometimes overwhelming crashes. But the joy! The sheer joy of knowing we are getting a newborn baby. That overshadows the sufferings by a mile.

How do kids know to take the cookie apart and eat the cream? Camille tried to give me the two sides, and get another one......is it inborn, from long before cookies were invented?

And how do they learn the concept of "no" from their point of view long before my point of view? Example: last night, when Camille awakened for the ?th time, I held her and rocked her and tried to put her back into her new green bed. She scrambled to her knees and said, "NO"....so I picked her back up. At one point I thought she wanted to nurse, and she said, "NO", as she pushed me away. But when she gets her chubby little self up on the kitchen table, and I say, "NO", she just looks at me like I am crazy.

I made up a song today, called" I'm Not Gonna Throw Her In The Garbage Can"

She gets in the drawers,
throws stuff on the floors,
she climbs on the table,
whenever she is able,

But I'm not gonna throw her in the garbage can,
No, I'm not gonnna throw her in the garbage can,
Not gonna throw her in the garbage can....

She empties the books,
Gives the suprised looks,
dumps out the crackers,
she's the messiest of snackers BUT

I'm not gonna throw her in the garbage can....

Sing it to any tune you like, at least while you cuddle and sing the offender, they are not doing messy things. Camille just melts when I sing. She doesn't seem to realize that I sing so badly I can hardly stand it myself.

Well, in the crockpot for today's dinner: a pork roast. It isn't quite falling apart yet to be pulled pork, but I hope it hurries up about it. Dinner is in an hour. I cut the fat off it, and cut it up. I need to drain it, shred it a bit, and add some barbeque sauce. The thing is, when I am pregnant and starting to feel sick, meat is my arch enemy. Preparing it, seeing it, smelling it....unless someone else cooks it and I sit down to eat it, which just doesn't seem to be happening around here lately.....Emily used to cook dinner sometimes. And sometimes Mirielle, but she left today for a two week trip to Ottowa.

Joseph, Aaron, and Sam are going away for the weekend for a boys weekend. The older girls are doing some things with the youth girls tomorrow. So we might have only Kathryn on down for dinner. (six girls and Jon)....I have three steaks in the refridgerator, this might be a good chance to have them.....

Well, I have things to do....

Oh, but I wanted to say something that I have said before. I think this is very important. Alot of people comment and say things like, "I only have -- kids, and it is hard....", or different variations of that. My life is not like 16 times harder, or twice as hard, or 4 times as hard as someone else's. No way. When the kids are at school, and I am home with the little ones, I home with only three. And it is busy, and crazy. When you have kids, it is just like that. When they are all here, it sometimes seems like the youngest couple are still the ones who keep us hopping. Yes, it is busy, and noisy sometimes, and a lot of work just because of the sheer numbers, but that doesn't mean my life is harder than yours. Everyone has their trials. I believe that whatever your situation, if you seek God, you will see that He causes all things to work for your good.

See how I ramble when I know I have to get moving and do some work? I am probably just subconsciously avoiding shredding that meat...yuck.