tired afternoon....

I know, I know, I complain far too much about being tired. Not enough sleep is one of the hardest things for me. Getting up so many times in the night...and I had a really bad dream last night, I guess it was a nightmare. It woke me up, and every time I started to fall back to sleep, I would be dreaming about it again....my head was pounding...so I prayed. I prayed that my head would feel better and I could sleep. And: immediately, my head was fine, and I was dozing off, with good dreams. Just goes to show, God is right there, always.

I have been very busy today, doing laundry, sweeping and mopping, vacumming, just general Monday cleaning up, and taking the kids outside for a while, as it is beautiful out there. Then I baked a double batch of chocolate chip cookies.....and I still haven't gone for my walk. I am screaming for a nap....but it is getting later.. I keep telling myself that I will survive without the nap...I like being with my kids in the afternoon.....

I am a very bad person. Very bad. Yesterday, the National Rifle Association called. It shook me up. Just maybe the word, "rifle"......so I took the call, told them Paul was busy, and hung up. I found out they had already called him the other day, and he told them he did not want to donate. Anyway, they just called again. In my defense, I wasn't thinking clearly, just shaken again...here is what I said....."Please don't call here again." they said, blah, blah, blah.....I said again, "Please don't call here again."....blah, blah, blah....so, I said, "my brother just shot himself, and the last person I want to talk to is YOU!, so, PLEASE, don't call here again...." the woman said, "okay, then we can confirm that you do not want any further calls from the National Rifle Association?" I hung up. What part of PLEASE DON'T do they not get? I feel a little bit bad, but Billy would think it was funny. If she just listened to me, I would have spared her...but no, she had to just go on and on.....

No, that was a bad thing for me to do. I don't want to say that just to shock someone. But, Billy would think it was funny. Oh, Billy. It is still so unreal. Each and everytime I think of it, I just am shocked all over again.

I think I am going to just doze a bit on the couch here...then I won't waste the time of a full fledged nap....then I will go for my walk.....