the kids are in bed....

and I am not looking forward to joining them tonight....but maybe she'll be better tonight. I did take a nice nap today. A giant waste of time, but delicious nonetheless. When my mother was still alive, she used to quote Benjamin Franklin, "There's time enough for sleep in the grave..", and tell me that she would love to be young with the kids all home again.....her house had gotten quiet and lonely, and she could sleep whenever she wanted.....

I did make it out to the kitchen, made the soup: I cheated so badly. I had some cans of Progresso (no, they are not paying me) beef soup, so I took the leftover LondonBroil we had on Saturday night, cut it up, mixed it with three cans of soup...added a bag of mixed veges, and 7 or 8 potatoes, peeled, cubed, and microwaved. It was actually very good, very rich and stew-y. There is one bowl left for lunch tomorrow.

I also made banana bread the cheaty way. I found two boxes of mix in the cupboard, and added them to three mushed up bananas......and the kitchen smelled so yummy, and was so warm and cozy.

When I am pregnant, food is a huge issue. I always WANT something, and I go in the kitchen and never find it. Duh, we are not a Chinese restaurant!! But today I tried a can of bean with bacon soup, it was pretty good. I want food food, not snacks or sweets. Something like Chinese food. It makes my mouth water to just think of the blackpepper chicken....or sesame chicken....I get that sick-hungry feeling......last week I made omelets, and they hit the spot. Red peppers, green peppers, ham,, sausage, sweet onions, mozzarella cheese....yum. I could eat that right now. Okay, time to change the subject.

My little girls are so excited about their trip to Canada. They have their bags packed already. We have to bring bedding for four people, plus Camille. Plus some noisemakers, and fans - white noise is a blessing when there are so many in the room. I am going to bring one specially to put right near Camille's little green bed. I have one air mattress, one of the floor sleepers will be lucky. I had to buy two new floatie-suits for the little ones.

I read my posts back sometimes, and I see what a whiner I can be....but sleep, ellusive sleep. I am starving for it....I hate to waste my time on it, but when I don't get enough of it, a nap is a necessary waste of time.

Well, tomorrow afternoon I have my first dr. appointment. I am curious to find out how far along I am, since I have no idea. I am glad for the queasy-starving-yucky feeling. I do find some apprehension, going in for this dr. visit. I kind of wish I was just an anonymous lady, going in for a pregnancy check. It does not make sense to have 17 kids. Not even to me. How can I explain that there has been such a blessing over that area of my life? How can I explain that this baby is already loved and anticipated? How can I explain the sheer joy my other children expressed when they found out? How can I explain what a gift this seems like, since I thought I was too old? How can I explain how much anxiety I have battled, since this seems much too good to be true, and I am fairly certain something bad will happen? Actually, I told the receptionist, who is obviously new in the office, since she did not say, "Oh, hi, Della!!! How are you?"....she asked me if I took a home test, and I said, no, I took five of them. She did not laugh. She just said to come in tomorrow.

Well, I am going to head to the torture chamber, I mean bedroom...wait, that sounds bad. I mean in regards to the nice comfy bed and the being woken up every half an hour. But, tonight might be much better!