mr. jonathan is getting better.

He is eating a piece of cheesecake right now. His appetite is coming back, and so is his bounce.



I had an interesting afternoon yesterday. I took Mali to the dentist, and then took her and Samuel to get their passports. Paul was meeting us therebecause they are so young, both of us had to sign. It wasn't until I was there that I realized that since Sam had ridden back from Canada with Mirielle, I did not have his birth certificate in my purse. Rats! Thankfully Mirielle was heading into the city to babysit, so she saved the day by bringing it up to us. We got Sam's pictures done, and everything signed and sent in. Phew.



Then we went to the thrift store, just because it was only Sam, Mali, and I, and hey, it was fun. Mali found a Japanese tea set. She was so excited, especially since it was all individually priced, but the nice cashier said she could have the whole thing for $7.99. She is just thrilled. She is mesmerized with the Japanese culture.



We then went, do not tell, to the Chinese buffet. Oh, if you ever want me to feel guilty...take me there with only two of the kids. I told them NOT to go home and tell. It was great to just talk to them, though. They are 15 and 13, and I am glad we can get along and have some fun together like that.



Next stop: Walmart. We needed kitty food, and some milk. $98 later.....but I did get Sam some much needed jeans, and a pair of nice sneakers. I told him to never wear the old jeans he had on in public again. He insisted that even though there was a hole in the seat, he had shorts on...but that doesn't matter, I tried to explain. Everyone still thought they were seeing undies or boxers....anyway, I told him to throw out his old sneakers, too. Boys are tough on clothes. But at least mine aren't picky about brands or anything...'cause too bad for them if they were.

Camille loves me. She MOMs when she sees me, and not just one time. Over and over, and with joy. "She loves me in the morning, and in the afternoon, she loves me in the evening, underneath the moon...." today I was sitting with her on my lap (I had given her some little cut up apple cubes, which she chewed up and spit out all over), and Charlotte Claire came over saying, "That's my spot, that's my spot!" Excuse me? You have ownership of a certain side of my lap? Okay!

It is that time of the day!!! The dinner dilemma! I do have a foggy idea what to make today, which is good, seeing that it is almost five o'clock. We still have turkey left, and 4 boxes of stuffing mix. Turkey on the bottom, green beans, stuffing? But potatoes would be better...hmm, now I am hungry. The sink is overflowing with dishes still. I unloaded the dishwasher, but Camille was helping me so much that I decided not to load it. (I DID do alot of laundry today, and I swept up the floors and.....)Anyways....

Tomorrow afternoon I go into the dr., again. Hopefully this time we can see a heartbeat. I don't think the sonogram equipment he has is the latest edition, to say the least, so I am not too worried....but I'd be lying if I said I'm fine. I am tempted to much anxiety. I want this baby SO much. I had three miscarriages between Jonathan and Charlotte Claire. 2 were confirmed by the dr., but the third was a very very early pregnancy, or else the preg. test was picking up the hormones from the last miscarriage, I don't know. But after that, I had Charlotte Claire, then Camille's pregnancy which was filled with fun, thinking I had miscarried until like the 4th month.....(which goes to show you can spot and bleed, and still be pregnant!).....I am quite paranoid about losing this baby, which is no way to live, but try and tell that to my mind, which doesn't stop whirring with doubt. Oh, then I'll feel all optimistic and hopeful, then....I have been spotting just a little bit, not much, not red, nothing TOO alarming. Just enough to make me know that when and if I see that heartbeat I will be ELATED!!!! So, pray for me to be at rest, and pray for this baby, that God blesses and strengthens it, and pray for me and all my kids if things don't go well. I can't even think about how that will be, but I know I will be all right. Because I do know in my heart that God does not make mistakes. Sometimes we have to suffer, but He does not make mistakes.