summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012
family

Friday, February 5, 2010

okay, who is staying home today?

Sonja K. had a tummy ache yesterday. It hurt really really bad. I gave her a Tums tablet, but it didn't help. Now, all week I have been hearing the horror stories about the kids in the various classes barfing in front of the bathroom door, and in the garbage can. My kids were surrounded by it and it seemed inevitable....well, Sonja K. finally came to me and said that her tummy hurt REALLY bad, and she so pale, I just knew...I told her to run into the bathroom fast!...she made it to the bathroom but....

So fast forward to this morning: after greeting the older ones and taking Rosie out for her morning walk, I went into the little kids' room, and.....I woke the two older ones of them, and asked them how they feel....they don't feel so great, of course. Given that question, of course they are going to say they don't feel well.....but the the throw-up bug will certainly make its way through the family and the thought of them being sick at school makes me too sad.

So today I have Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan home with Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I.

Anyway, before I saw the magazine cover yesterday in Wegmans, I had been thinking about having so many kids. I do not pretend to be able to do things fantastically. When they were younger I tried so hard to appear as if I had it all together. But I don't. I do forget things. I feel mighty bad when Suzanne gets five points off a book report that I totally forgot to work with her on...well, I remembered all along, then things got busy...see, that is horrible...but should they not have been born because of these things?

Here's the thing: my kids don't suffer. They get more than enough love and attention and hugs and stories and clothes and food and warmth and down time. It is something I really work on, to balance things out and pay attention to them individually. I also try to be careful not to put too much on the older ones. I think that some responsibility is good for them. But I also respect the fact that they need time to vegetate and read books and spend time with their friends.

I personally admire the Duggars, although I must confess, we do not have cable and have not watched the show. I saw them on Good Morning America, and Michelle seems very sweet. I have also watched a few video clips and have seen pictures of their magnificent house. I wouldn't have a single trouble if I had that house. Ha. But it WOULD be nice....when people ask if we are like the Duggars, I just laugh. No disrespect to them, of course. We are just lucky to have one working washer and dryer, not four. And I bet they don't keep their daddy's guitar on the dog cage, or have thirty childrens' books strewn around the living room at any given time. I bet their living room isn't the play room, music room, excercise room (as in they probably don't have a treadmill in their living room), and computer room. And dressing room for the younger ones. Of course, every room in the house is a dressing room for the two littlest girls, they have a serious change-their-clothes addiction. And they leave a trail....oh, yesterday Camille got up from her nap and went into my bathroom, and emptied the contents of a drawer into her bed....tampons, pads, and qtips filled the bottom of her little green bed. She is going to have to start napping in a different room. She is so funny, I told her it is not nice to go in my bathroom, not nice to take my things...and she says, okay, she is going to be GOOD! It's like they understand things, but have no idea how to deny themselves. Oh, she is in total agreement that she should stay in bed and not get into things....

So, all that being said, I truly wish the best for Michelle and Jim and their family, and of course sweet baby Josie. And I admire them for being so honest about being open for more children. I totally know how they feel. When my Robert was "born" (he wasn't actually born, because he died , so I never know how to say that), he was my 14th, and my heart was broken. Someone actually said to us, "Now it is time to quit. This just proves it." WHAT? ...Anyway, his death had nothing to do with how many kids we had. Just as Josie's premature birth had nothing to do with being their 19th. Anyways, my prayers are with them and their baby.

5 comments:

Charlie said...

I hope your kids bypass that big going around!

As for the duggars or even you as long as I the taxpayer isn't paying for them you can have as many as you want! I don't understand how people in the FLDS gets away with so much!

I was a nurse assistant in maternity and No one WANTS to have a child in the NICU I hope she will become "normal" but if she does have a lot of disabilities I can't think of a family with more compassion to handle it.

momof3 said...

I have 3 and I personally believe each family decides what they can handle (emotionally an financially) themselves. This is America. We are taking away rights at an astonishing rate and playing with people's families is absolutely ridiculous.

Now, Octamom, I'm not so sure about...when you have children KNOWING you cannot afford them and are going to rely on government to exist. But I hold that to even people with 2 or 3 living that way - if you cannot take care of them don't have them.

I watch the Duggars. I love them and the family. If I had one misgiving, it would be that they don't encourage the girls (or maybe even the boys?) to go to college. That is the one major difference I see between your family and theirs (well, minus the size of the home, like you mentioned!).

I really believe that between your family and the Duggars, you are prompting your children to grow up and become better educated than they are. That is definitely a plus in my book.

FLmom7 said...

Oh the yucky stomach virus- we just got over it here and you have my sympathy!

I watch the Duggars' show and I think they are a sweet family. I start to feel defensive though (in my head) because I think: "well if I had a husband that helpful, or babies that almost never cry and take regular naps, and so many helpful older children and a live-in supportive grandma and you know..." But we all are different and God blesses us in many ways. Plus we all have our challenges, even some people who look so perfect on the outside.

This is why I like your blog, because you are NOT the Duggars. You seem much more regular and open about your struggles. And you also express your joy and love for your children, even though your life isn't perfect. I like that about you. I can relate to you a lot more than I could ever relate to Michelle Duggar. :)

Tereza said...

This was a fun post to read:)
I enjoy watching the duggar show (Did you know you can watch it for free on you tube!?)but it's also good to understand not to compare. Everyones situation is different!

wakeful dreamer said...

Ugh, people can say the rudest things... not meaning to I think, but b/c they don't have a courtesy filter between mouth and brain. Or as if it is "admirable" to be so "honest". I'm so sorry about Robert - it doesn't matter if one has 1 child or 100 - each child is everything and as long as each is loved for who he is it doesn't matter.

Just hope YOU don't get the bug!