life goes on....

happily, for the most part...I mean, a tea party? Aaron and Mali had one the other night....

Cloudy, overcast and chilly, but they still like it out there...Sonja K. with her kitty and her notebook....
Jonathan, Suze, Kap, and Evelyn with their Barbie/Webkin houses made from empty diaper, wipes, waffle boxes....they even added curtains.

I haven't taken any pictures today, though I should have. I am taking a little rest after a busy day outside. Paul brought new sand for the sandbox. Do not buy play sand from Wal-mart, $3.24 a bag. It is very stain-y. Camille will never be able to wear that nice little onsie suit she had on again, unless I save it and use it for her sand-box outfit. It is so warm and sunny, they scrubbed up the little pool and filled it, ice cold water. They didn't care. They went from the sandbox to the pool....four of the girls are in the sandbox now. Charlotte Claire and Camille are taking naps. Being outside is tiring. Paul also got the mowers going, Mali is mowing on the riding mower and Mirielle is mowing with the pushmower.

We got a little raking done, Joseph, Samuel, and I. So it does look decent. We have a nice big yard, which I am very thankful for.

Emily called me from Norway last night. She was wondering how I was doing, and I said, "fine", and she asked how I am REALLY doing....I AM basically doing fine, but I am still so sad.....that's normal, I suppose. But I told her how I think my optimism is a blessing from God. I mean, there IS so much to learn from going through the different trials and losses. In Matthew it is written, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy"...and losing a baby is definately a way to become merciful. Life really is so much more than what the eye sees and the ear hears. God wants to do a work in me. Like I have said before, I have the responsibility of all these children, which is really a bonus, because I have no choice but to keep trusting God, and seeking His kingdom. What would they do if I gave up hope?

Oh, the funniest thing happened on Thursday. At the grocery store, we went over to get balloons for the kids, they give them out at the floral department. While we walked past all the beautiful bouquets, I said to Mirielle..."Maybe Dad will bring ME flowers tonight..." She said, "Oh Mom, stop it".....And guess what? He did! He brought me flowers. I told Mirielle, and she could not believe it.

See, I have been more tempted to feel sorry for myself than I can remember in my entire life. Poor me. I know it is a road I don't want to go down, but I do find myself starting out on it several several times a day. I know if I let myself, I could very well get lost on that road, so I am keeping vigilant for those thoughts.

I also know I have said this so many many times before, but I am so thankful for my other kids. Emily: she is so thoughtful and kind, and I know she loves me.

Abigail: she is such a good, kind, faithful girl...

Benjamin: a soft-hearted boy who isn't home nearly enough...

Mirielle: She has such a heart for the younger ones, and she is so good to me. (I DID give her two $10 Target gift cards for going shopping with me the other day)

Joseph: Joe is so sensitive and he just seems to "get" me....we have a nice time together.

Aaron: He is clever and funny and social and kind.....he was very sad about the baby.

Mali: She is very sunburned right now, which is beside the point, but she is kind and helpful and she also feels really awful about the baby.

Sam: He is such a companion! He likes to talk, and he is a great friend.

Margaret: She has to work at getting along with everyone, but the good thing is that she does! She is actually very kind...

Kathryn: She just fell head-first through the hole in the trampoline where the springs are missing -she is okay, but I think we need a new trampoline...anyway, she is of course a good girl, and keeps the younger ones very busy.

Evelyn: She says I can have another kid....aah, life is simple when you're nine years old.

Suzanne: Today, she wrote a list of what they were going to do outside: sandbox, picknick, fill little pool, and go exbloring.

Sonja K. Yes, a sweetie, and life is simple for her too....she just enjoys herself playing with the other kids....

Jonathan: Oh, what an exciting day for him! Daddy let him have a ride on the mower (when it wasn't mowing, of course).....

Charlotte Claire: she has done so well saying bye-bye to her bottles. She can have wicked tantrums, but mostly is good natured.

Camille: Still the baby for a while yet, I guess, she is talking now. She loves to say "Sonja!", or should I say YELL.....she gives kisses and hugs, but she also bites.