one day at a time

Today, I am tired. Camille woke up three times last night to nurse. One of these days I am going to have to let her in on the little secret that she won't be the baby for long. The thing about being tired is this: I cannot wait until naptime. Naptime is a good time to get other things done that are hard to do with little shadows. But when naptime is sleep time, things do slip. But I am tired, and I am a wimp, and when I get a chance to sleep, I will take it.

Whew, 9 kids gone to school. Quietness. The big white van is in town to be fixed. I am stuck here. But that is a good thing. I am glad for today, to have some time to think and set my mind straight before the little ones get up. I will listen to them today, I will read them stories. I will let them help me even if it takes me twice as long to get things done. I will just take Camille into the bathroom with me in the first place, instead of sneaking in when she seems busy with something, and ignoring the pounding on the door when she figures out where I am. Well, maybe not. I will not grumble as I work on the huge pile of dishes in the sink left from last night, when I told the kids so nicely, "I will make you some chocolate chip cookies if you clean up dinner.." Apparently, they forgot a part.

Dinner last night was one of my lazy favorites. Take 4 cans of cream of celery soup, add some water, not quite 4 cans, stir it up, add a 5 lb. bag of individual frozen chicken breasts, simmer for a few hours, stirring occasionally. Before serving, break up the chicken a bit, it will fall apart easily. Serve over mashed potatoes (instant Potato Buds are great when I don't have time to peel (nap took precedance)), with a vegetable on the side. It is so good. And even with all these people here, there is enough left to put on the stove, add some water, some cubed potatoes, and a bag of mixed veges, and call it soup. It is a rare thing for me to get two meals out of one dish.

Chocolate chip cookies. If Mirielle is reading this from Canada: Guess what? B.J.'s had their chocolate chips, Nestle, 72 ounce bags for $7.50. So I bought 3 bags. Like money in the bank, right? I made a double batch last night, and had to keep the boys' hands out of the dough. They cannot understand why I even bake it when it tastes so much better right out of the bowl. I am nice, I always give each of them a few good size tastes.....the boys though, they want to eat it all. Once they found a recipe for choc.chip dough that doesn't call for eggs, specially for eating, they made a batch and ate the whole thing. And if you guessed that I was not home at the time, you are right.....

We have decided to stay for two nights when we go up to Gananoque next week. It just makes more sense. The little girls are so excited. They are making lists. Quarreling and deciding who sleeps where. Talking about what they are going to bring, which is where I step in and remind them we have NO room for toys, stuffed animals....I will let them bring one thing on their lap, but not their whole Barbie collection. or their art kits.

I just realized that since the kids aren't up, I could've snuggled up on the couch and dozed for a while. I'll have to remember that. I know that once I am out of the first trimester, I'll have a little more energy, (only to crash again at the end)....I still can't believe that I am pregnant again. I feel like it is the first one or something, and I want to shout it. But everytime I think of it, I have that under-the-surface worry that something bad will happen. Which I am at war with, that thought. Even if it does, should my happiness be overshadowed by worry? No sir, that is not of God. One day at a time.

God want to give us a good, happy, free life. When I was growing up, I remember thinking that religious people were "Jesus Freaks".....but then I became enthralled with the Gospel. With being set free from sin, from what people think of me, set free from judging others, from worry.....it wasn't that I wanted a "Christian" lifestyle. No, I wanted to be truly cleansed inside from sin. That still is what captures me, day after day. There is a longing in me deep and wide, to follow Jesus on this way of victory and freedom. It has nothing to do with rules and regulations like: hairstyles, skirts, tv, sugar, or whatever other thing groups come up with to keep order or control. No, it is written that we do not battle against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalites...."Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Collosions 3, 12-15)........

Well, I am encouraged to face the day!