they are a blessing....

I had a revelation this past weekend about the children and the craziness and the pressure. We had an excellent conference at church. A conference is where the people from the other churches in our church come together for meetings and fun. Our conference center happens to be where we have our regular meetings, we rent it and do the cleaning. Anyway, our meetings consist of the first few brothers bringing God's word, speaking, teaching, exhorting - then testimonies from those who were encouraged. One sister got up and spoke about back when the kids were all younger (she has twelve), and there was always pressure. And it was like a lightbulb went off for me, what a blessing that pressure is. That pressure, that craziness, that does NOT create sin in me. It does not create irritation. No, it just helps bring out the way I am. That is a blessing! No one can be cleansed of sin they don't acknowledge. I need to see myself! Rev. 3 v.17, "Because you say 'I am rich, having become wealthy, and have need of nothing' -and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked-" (I suggest that you look up this verse, and read the whole chapter. It is so very helpful)....So the craziness and busyness and chaos are such a blessing! Because when I see my wretchedness, then God can help me. He gives grace to the humble.

Evelyn Joy is home today. She doesn't feel well. Kathryn Grace is home today. She has a fever of 101. She really didn't feel well yesterday, and I thought she was dramatizing. It can be hard to tell around here. They like being home, which is a not the greatest thing when they are supposed to be in school. Charlotte Claire just woke up bright eyed and bushy-tailed. I guess the antibiotics are doing their job. I remembered this morning what she was saying yesterday in the store. "I like gickles." The doctor had suggested for her to eat pickles, hot sauce, or other salty things to help kill the germs in her throat. I thought, "ouch", but she must have thought they sounded good. So she said that in the store like 20 times. I like gickles.

I am going to try to start staying home more. I spend too much money, even though I buy things on sale, it all adds up. And I really want to take the kids on our third annual two day getaway in February or March. So we need to save up. It gives us something to talk about during the winter, and look forward to. The first year we went to a nice small city a few hours south of here, and there was a mall with a Target at the end! To me, it was like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That hotel had dinner included (well,they called it the businessmen's reception meal, we called it dinner), and had a nice pool and hot tub. It was the first hotel stay for the kids, except for a few of the older ones. Then last year we went up to Canada, and stayed in a hotel right across the street from McDonalds. But it was a CANADIAN McDonalds. Apparently that is important. According to the kids. Anyway, it was an adventure, and we want to try to do something like that again this year. (I remember when we went last year, I was pregnant, and just having the first inkling that something might be wrong..wah. I am so conscious that I would be having a baby soon. My brother has two brand new grand daughters this past week, with a grandson due any day, and it is hard for me. I thought I would be having a baby with them. I know I have to get over it already, but still. I have had my share of babies, that is for sure. But still. It is there, that feeling of loss. It doesn't overwhelm me, it is just there. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, but it is still there. It doesn't help that I thought when I found out I was pregnant, my brother had just died, so I latched on to the pregnancy for comfort. I know I did. The loss of it was harder than any other previous miscarriage. Wow, I can go on and on. oops.)

Since the kids aren't feeling well, I am going to let them watch a movie during the day, as in right now. I let them watch some shows on channel 24 (public television) during the day sometimes, because they are half-hour shows, and they don't just leave it on and watch them all. Jon like Calliou, but he is in school now. Sometimes the little girls will watch it. They don't really love Sesame Street. We usually reserve movies for the weekend, or occasionally during the afternoon. But when they are sick, it is different.

Today is a dark and dreary day, my favorite kind of day. Except for the bright sunny ones, of course. All I have is today. That is all any of us has. So use it well. "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."(psalm 118)