sunny thursday morning...

Taking Miss Rosie outside this morning was lovely. It rained last night, but the sun is out this morning and the birds are singing...it is warmish and breezy and sparkly out there. When Miss Rosie sees me each morning, her tail thunks against the cage, and there is no waiting...she needs to go out. I don't always love the fact that I have to do that first thing, rain or snow, but I usually enjoy getting outside. And heck, after some of the horrible weather I have taken her out in, this morning was extra nice.

Our friend Mike stopped over this morning to pick up Benjamin. I offered him some breakfast....eggs? Sure, he said. I was also helping Suzanne make lunches for herself and Jonathan. It was a little crazy there for a minute or two, cooking eggs and sausage and waffles and getting the lunches made and the girls' hair done....then Mike left, and the bus came and took them away from me...wah. Charotte Claire and Camille are up now.....oh great, Camille just went in the bathroom and locked the door....rrr.

Keeping up around here gets away from me so fast sometimes. If I slack off and go shopping two days in a row, for instance, the laundry room gets messy and a new couch pile starts growing...I have two loads of towels to fold and put away, and the socks in the matched bin are dwindling. There is a large pan soaking in the sink, is three days enough? I keep spraying it off, but I just have to take the five minutes to scrub it off, and get it out of there. As it was, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher during American Idol last night.......the older kids all left right from the table to go to cleaning at church.....they went to a bonfire at their cousin Susan's house afterward, and came home late and happy and smelling like grilled burgers and hot dogs.....sometimes people ask me if my older ones help, and yes, they do. When they are here, that is. They are gone alot. They seem to have things every evening. Add that to homework and school, and jobs, and they don't have much time, so they don't always do much around here. Mali is in track now, so she is extra busy, and with Aaron working and being in eleventh grade, with lots of homework, he is not much help.

The two little girls are sitting on a rug in front of the television, watching Super Readers and eating Curious George fruit snacks. How in the world can my baby know the letter "S"? She took off her night diaper, went pee on the toilet, washed herself with a wipe, and put on her own undies. Not because I made her, no sir, she wants to do it "MYSELF!!"

Rosie wants to go out again, and I don't. That is what it means to be grown up though, to do things you don't want to because you have to. I tell my kids that. I am very very lucky, most of what I do I love, compared with Paul, for example. He is a very active and antsy person, but he sits at a desk most of the day, day in, day out, year after year, with only two weeks of vacation. Then he gets home and takes care of flat bicycle tires and broken lawn mower blades. He is a happy guy though, because he is learning thankfulness each day. It is becoming part of him and he is so good to be around. We all know that it isn't what you do that makes you happy, but learning happiness in what you do.....it takes a real work to do that though, and I personally couldn't do it without the grace of God.....

Charlotte Claire is turning four years old next week. I remember when she was born.....I was being induced a bit before my due date because we wanted to avoid the long tiring pre-labor I had with Jonathan. The day before I was to be induced was a Wednesday, and it was the last day of her first year of Nursing School for Emily. (she graduated the next year, and I was expecting Camille. I bet I was the only graduate's mom who was pregnant!) She didn't have a car yet, and she lived with my parents, since they lived so much closer to the city. She usually took the bus, but sometimes when she wanted to come home, I would go and pick her up. So that Wednesday I picked her up, along with Jonathan, who just had turned two, Sonja K. who had just turned four, and Suzanne Eleanor who was five. We went to visit my parents and pick up some of Emily's things. It was nice out, and my mom and dad were sitting outside. My mother kept saying that she couldn't believe I was actually having a baby TOMORROW....she kept patting my stomach, she was so excited. Now, by this time she had already had a short nursing home stay, and wasn't walking well due to the effect of the diabetes on her feet...they were literally turning black. Her heart was giving out, too, she was getting swollen, and her three-times-a-week dialysis was getting harder and harder on her. My father had leukemia at this time, and the chemo and frequent hospital stays were rough on him. He was kind of generally miserable, and my mother was hating the fact that she had some peace and quiet when he was in the hospital. She loved him, but....anyway, they were excited about the baby. After our visit, Emily and I and the little ones did lots and lots of shopping, then went home exhausted. I had to be up at the hospital bright and early to be induced....I don't remember much about the labor, but Emily was with me, along with Paul, so that was comforting. She has a gift. She even went in the bathroom with me when I was right near the end and was in agony....I wouldn't have wanted Paul in there (no offense if you are reading this, Dear....)but it having Emily there was so natural and good and comforting. When the birth was imminent, baby's heart rate was dropping down very low and not coming up very well, and the midwife was getting a bit frantic, telling me to really push that baby out......then out she came, with the cord wrapped all around her wrist and neck....she had been hitting hard against the cervix, so her forehead was swollen and she looked like an alien monster, one that didn't cry right away, and was very blue....I asked over and over again if she was okay, and didn't get an answer....I don't remember if she was given oxygen or if she perked up on her own, but when she cried and they all started telling me she was fine, I was crying too. Her forehead swelling went down after a bit, and she was beautiful. My mother couldn't make it up to the hospital to see her, and it was very very hard for her. She was born on Thursday, and I was at my mom's house with her by Saturday. It was a very big part of having a baby, to have my mom meet the baby, and declare "This baby is going to have red hair!".....she was ever hopeful. She loved and appreciated the babies, and I can't remember Charlotte Claire's birth without remembering my mother......she never got to know the wonderful little child that Charlotte Claire has grown in to, she died when Char was only a few months old....

So now these two little girls need their mommy, and their mommy needs a cleaning lady....