quick post this morning....

I just remembered I have an appointment at the bank and have to leave here within half an hour. Abigail is going with me, so I am looking forward to it. Yesterday, I didn't end up going out and about after all.....because, Emily came over and helped me clean up Charlotte Claire's room. Now, I am a toy lover. And it shows. I can probably count on one hand how many times I have gone into a Walmart or Kmart or Target and NOT looked at the toys, just in case there was something good on clearance for someone's birthday or to put away for Christmas. I just plain love toys. Charlotte Claire's room has a big closet. One of the things in that closet is a big black shelving unit, full of Little People sets, Fisher-Price, from way back when. I cannot get rid of them. I have the merry-go-round and the ferris wheel and the house....the rest of the closet was full of baby clothes, the little pink bed, and the baby swing. I couldn't get rid of the bed or the swing, but I sorted through all the baby clothes...wah!!! I started tearing up several times, seriously. The outfit Ben wore home from the hospital. His little overalls. (Ben is 21, I am pretty bad). The little suit I bought for Joseph when he was newborn, at a store with my mom. (Joe is almost 19). The sweater sets I brought them all home from the hospital in. I saved just the special things, threw out anything with stains, and Emily brought the rest to the salvation army. Now all the doll strollers are stacked in there, and the room is weeded out. Emily threw out some toys, poor Jon if he notices. But we had too many things in there, and we need to move Camille in there before her little green bed starts stunting her growth.

Weeding through those baby clothes hurt me. It was not just getting rid of the physical clothes, as Emily reminded me several times that everything is going to burn up someday. It was just the memories. When Joseph was born, he did not curl up like a regular newborn, no, he stretched out like he didn't have a care in the world. I remember trying in vain to keep his little feet inside that recieving blanket. He was the most beautiful thing. And Benjamin: he was only six pounds, three ounces. He was a week early. He was born with reddish hair, and he was so tiny and sweet! I was concerned with his size, and the dr said, "He'll grow." He is over six feet tall now, and took his placement test for the Army yesterday. (he did wonderfully and can choose from any job they offer). I think the saddest things I came across were the little things I bought for Charlotte Claire and Camille. With them, I knew that they might be the last babies, and I spoiled them. Oh, at home they wore those little Carter's sleepers that I had since Emily was born, but when they went out and about, they wore their own new things. Oh, and Jonny's little things.....he was the first boy after having the five girls in a row, and Sam was 8 when he was born, so the boys' clothes were too old....almost everything he wore was new. I got it cheap, of course. I hit a major sale at BabyGap, so there were so many adorable things. Wah. I can remember him so clearly his first summer. I had to share him with everyone, and since I am outnumbered, I don't think I would have even gotten a turn if I hadn't been nursing him.

Well, enough of this sadness, I am glad for today and I know there is a season for everything. My baby-bearing season lasted for twenty-something years, so I cannot complain. But I CAN remember.....