fresh new day...

Everyone who goes to school has gone out the door. Samuel didn't get up in time for first trip, then was brushing his teeth when the second trip bus came, so Benjamin is driving him to school. They took Rosie with them, and everyone here is sleeping, so it is quiet. I don't know if I have always loved quiet, but something about living in a house with 17 other people and a dog and two cats,( not that the cats are noisy, but when the kids put on cat in the dog cage and the dog barks at it, they indirectly cause noise), that makes the rare silence just delicious.



I thought today I would just write some random things. Wait, that's what I always do.



The earthquake in Haiti: what can one say? It is almost unbearable to look at the images, especially of the children. Seriously, how can I complain about anything?



The economy: with the exception of Emily, my older kids have had no luck at all finding work. Abigail has a four year degree. Both her and Benjamin have had to ask for deferrals for repayment of student loans. Now Abigail's car needs a new tie-rod (?), and she has very little $ left from the month she worked. (she is just thankful she didn't go buy a new car right away when she got hired...). Mirielle is starting classes soon, and is going to use loan money for gas, I don't know what she is going to drive.....maybe Abigail's car, since Abigail is not going anywhere. But wait, Abigail's car needs work....



The weather: it is warming up around here, which means melting snow and more slippery going. Taking Rosie out on the leash countless times a day is getting old. She still pulls, dragging me along. I stop, she stops, she pulls again as soon as we start again. Last night at 9:30, I had the little ones in bed, and I was sitting with my feet up, Rosie was at the door whining. I just let her out. When I called for her a few minutes later, she just trotted down the road. I put on some giant boots (there are always lots of boots to choose from by the door, either Ben's or Joe's or Aaron's or Sam's or Paul's....they are big and easy to slip on in a hurry...and I look lovely in them. So if you see a lady in a long jean skirt and big huge boots and long tangly hair blowing in the breeze, screaming fruitlessly for a dog that AIN'T gonna come to her, that is me....)I gave up on Ms. Rosie. She would run near me, and take off again. She was being blatantly disrespectful, and in-my-face disobedient. I was so mad at her. I finally just stomped off back down the road toward home, and she followed me. When I got to the deck steps, she turned and took off down the road again. I just went in the house, and seriously at that moment I almost wished a big truck would come along...then I felt bad for even thinking it....a bit after 10, she was out there on the deck waiting to come in. She trounced into the living room all happy and smiley, and I forgave her. Almost. Rrr. All the time I spend training this dog, and she does as she pleases. rrr.



I want to get Charlotte Claire and Camille this loft bed I found on craigslist, but Paul doesn't think we need it. Well, Miss Camille is too big for her little green bed. And their room won't fit two beds. This loft bed is $100, and it has a slide! I know,I know, they won't get much sleep, but it looks like so much fun! The top has rails around the whole thing, and we could put a toddler bed underneath it for Camille. It isn't very high, lower than standard bunks. I am not thinking they will get much sleep if I put them together anyway, so what's the difference?



I haven't walked on the treadmill in a few days. When I walk on it, after about ten minutes or so, I get this chest pain...I am 99% certain that is muscle pain from taking the tugging and pulling Rosie for walks, because I have had this exact exertion pain on and off for years, in this chest wall muscle. But that 1% niggling worry bothers me. With a $2000 deductable on the insurance, and us having to pay 20% of everything after that, I am not in a big hurry to get it checked out.



I am going to eat more healthy today. Those rotten little Cookies'nCream hershey bars are almost gone, why did I buy them? I eat good healthy food, but then I eat these snacks...I do not eat ice cream anymore, just very very occasionally. I just need to be meaner to myself during the day. ha.



Sometimes I find myself incredulous that I have so many kids. Like my life just fast-forwarded to NOW, and I have all this responsibility. Being pregnant and having newborns is not the hard part, no sir, it is the day to day nurturing. I find that I have no wisdom at all, I don't know what to do about Evelyn's little stompy fits (ten going on 17), or Mali's heartbreak, or Sam's argumentativeness, if that is even a word. So I am in a good place, God will help me when I am humble and needy. Sometimes people ask, "How do you do it?" How can I answer that? I get up each day, get dressed and washed up, and come out here and deal with one thing at a time. When I get complain-y and witchy with a capital "B", things go badly, and I have to repent and get back on track. This morning, Rosie was whining like crazy in her cage, and I couldn't find her leash. After last night's fun, I did not want to let her go, especially with the bus coming soon....but she was doing the "pee-pee" dance, so I let her out. She peed right on the deck, she had to go so badly....but at least she came right back in....(Ben has the leash downstairs. Thank you Ben. If you can't find something, ask Ben. He has it.) Anyway, things do not always go my way, and I know from experience that if I have the wrong attitude, everything will be hard and heavy. Seriously, when I am sacrificing myself, and have that giving spirit that asks nothing in return, which only God can help with, then that goodness spreads to the kids, and it is good here. When Paul comes home from work and he is in that good spirit too, then it is REALLY good here. Good has more power than evil, and thankfulness overcomes selfishness. Blessing and helping and listening and giving, the fruits of the spirit that come from denying MY sin, the draw the kids to God, and make it warm in here.



Now, after several interruptions, I need to get moving....these kids want breakfast. I was just talking to my little brother on the phone, and watching Charlotte Claire CHANGE Camille's diaper. It was the funniest thing I ever did see. Charlotte Claire brought out all these clothes, she has on size 18 month overalls, with all the crotch/leg snaps undone, with no shirt on underneath, and her new slippers. Camille tried to put on a jumper, but gave up and is sitting with me in her diaper that is not on quite right, which I have to fix before she poops, but she is all cuddled up under blankets. She is giving me Richard Scarry's Counting Book, to read AGAIN.....