sunday.....

There are 17 people in this house right now. Samuel is fishing with his friends. Lots of the kids are having lunch, a few are done and are going out to play in the snow. Camille isn't eating very well, she is so tired. She was up until eleven last night, then she woke up extra early this morning. She will be tucked into her little green bed before too long.

I would like to be tucked into my nice bed before too long, too. Some of us stayed up past two this morning talking about things. Then Camille woke up a two or three times, then morning came extra early. If I can get through this afternoon slump, I'll be okay. I am thinking coffee. hmm.

Tomorrow is Emily's 25th birthday. What this means to me:

I have been changing diapers for 25 years now. There has never been a time when there was no one in diapers. Usually there were two, sometimes three. It also means that I am old. I had Emily when I was 19. So now she is 6 years older than I was when she was born.

I am happy today. I am happy because I although I am not very competent or energetic and today when we left for church there was hardly any gas in the van, which I exclusively drive except on Sundays, I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I am not the kind of wife that my husband is bragging about, because I keep the place so amazingly spotless, or the kind of mother who just remembers everything and the kids sing praises. In fact , just this week, I forgot to make the playdough for Sonja for her second grade maps at school. And lots of times Paul teases me or makes comments about how well my dog listens, ha, or mentions that I MUST love clutter. Okay, I wish I was a more-organized, less-forgetting person. But I am what I am, and the important thing is that I do not get offended! I can wear myself out trying to be zippier and more helpful and keep things nicer, and that is all well and fine, but the way I take the comments, and the way I guard my heart, that is what is important. No one can stop me from being faithful to God. Messy houses, crying kids, sarcastic comments, they cannot stop my faithfulness. God does not make mistakes, there are no limitations in the bible....Jesus does not say, "Follow me, except when you ARE right. or when you are really tired. Or when everyone is just being so disrespectful." Times of trial, where the fire tests the faith, are necessary and good.

ha, that is my sermon for today. I cannot help it, there is such great joy in NOT feeling sorry for myself.

Camille fell asleep on me, Emily brought her into her little green bed, and she is crying because she wanted, "Momm-eye to put me to bed, want Mommeye!!!"