pizza for dinner

Well, seven kids all day....I almost said "only" seven kids, but it didn't really feel like "only"....

oops...for the second time....we still made 4 pizzas, I had the dough, and the big kids will eat it for lunch tomorrow. I let Jon and Sonja each spread out a dough. I really have to control myself, one little hole in their dough and I am ready to grab it from them.....they put the cheese on, too, and some of the other toppings. I even let Charlotte Claire put some stuff on....great fun for them, an excercise in patience for me...but fun, too. These guys behave so well with the big kids and daddy gone, and I know why: they have me, all my attention. I am not trying to talk to daddy, not conversing with the big kids....I am talking to them, and listening to them. They just blossom, so I am glad for these kinds of weekends. It makes me see more on regular days how much more I can give them.

Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja went out today and shoveled off the trampoline. The picnic table is pretty snowy....

This picture was taken at a restaurant on the way back from Ottowa the other night. I am in the front left, then my sisters daughters, Janet and Becky next to me....my sister is in the front on the right, with her daughter Susan, Susan's husband Thomas, and their baby, Will. The other people are our friends, we traveled together with them on the way home and met for dinner....it was great fun...

And, I made it through another day. Aahh. And, I stayed home. It just seemed the peaceful thing to do. We played restaurant for lunch. Suzanne and Sonja got a notebook and took our orders. They must have seen this on a movie or something, they have never been to a restaurant where the waitress takes orders, except for maybe Pizza Hut....anyway, lunch was "restaurant", complete with soda. Then we made the pizza for dinner, later after nap time , and playing outside time, and movie "Enchanted" time....while they had their pizza, I started a double batch of Rice Krispie treats. Wow, what a difference it is to make them in the microwave, it took 15 minutes from start to finish.

Today at lunch, the kids started telling me things they probably shouldn't have. One took a lolllipop and lied about it. Another stuck a tack in daddy's mousepad, and when he asked who did it, she pretended to be reading a book. Another said she peed in a cup one time when she was playing doctor. All the girls said they tried to pee standing up, like a boy, and they laughed their heads off when I told them I did that too, when I was a little girl...hey, I had 5 brothers.

All in all, it was a good day. Even the times Charlotte Claire stole Camille's bottles, and ran away....but not when Jon opened the silverware drawer and knocked Charlotte Claire in the head. And not really when Charlotte Claire spilled her entire cup of cocoa, and Suzanne was trying to clean it up, saying, "If mommy was cleaning it up, she would be yelling..." Ooh, that hurt. Do I really do that? Ouch. At dinner tonight, I told them how much I really really love them. I told them when I get upset about messes and spills and stuff sometimes, it is my impatience, and that I always still love them. I told them I am never mad at them in my heart. I vow to be much more diligent to control myself, to not give in to that anger......oh, from the mouth of babes.....and it SEEMS so impossible. I mean, all day long, the dealing with things, the pressure is ON. In a perfect world, where the mom was well rested and organized, it might be easier...but .....no excuses. I only get one time through, here on earth, and I am going to be faithful, and honor God in my daily life, not just justify myself and get bent out of shape about things and snap at the kids....

always know where she is!

I did not notice this child's absence into the kitchen, it seems I lost track for only a matter of minutes.....and she found herself a packet of cocoa mix.

It was so yummy...and then she got a bath....how could it get any better?
Charlotte Claire saw the mess on the floor, and before I could say "NO!", she jumped down for a few licks.....she has the powder of it all over her nose.

We are having a "quiet" Saturday at home. ha. Paul is at the band weekend with Abigail, Mirielle, Joseph, Aaron, Mali, Samuel, and Margaret. Ben is sleeping, he worked late last night. Kathryn and Evelyn are playing in Kathryn's room. The other kids are playing waffletown, and on the other computer.....and Camille is getting into things. I wish I could gate off the whole kitchen. It isn't that she's hungry, it's just that food is "funner" than toys right now...I mean, what toy could beat a packet of cocoa?

I had a terrible headache yesterday....it got progressively worse as the day wore on....I took ibuprofen....again and again, until I had maxed out, 10 tablets in 12 hours. My head still pounded.....I was a bit worried.....when I woke up this morning, it was still around, but more subtle...so now I feel a mixture of headachy, and that day-after-a horrible headache feeling, wrung out. I was supposed to have a friend over today, as some of her kids were at the band weekend too, but I just couldn't make myself get busy and clean up for company. I told her my mind and heart wanted to have her over, but my body didn't want to move.

Now, however, it is nice and sunny out and I am feeling more optimistic about the day.......should I pack them up and go bye-bye in the mini-van? We could squish 8 in a seven passenger, easy. One of the things I like to do when Paul is gone with the older ones is take them to McDonalds, drop 20 bucks, and let them play for like two hours while I sit there and vegetate. I would prefer it if one of my friends came along, so we could talk....or sometimes I like to strike up a conversation with another mom there.

I could stay home, save twenty bucks, try for a nap, use any energy to do some laundry....ha. I just like going places, though. It is fun to get them all dressed and go on adventures, especially when we have no time limits. Of course the practical side of me, which is not obviously a whole side, just a little sliver, is screaming, no, don't do it, STAY HOME, give the children naps, rest up......catch up on the house.....I just ignore it.

Queen Camille is wandering, no not wandering, that would be more of a random happening, this is definately more purposeful.....she is BEE-LINING for the kitchen, she is wanting something yummy....Sonja is checking for me....she has nothing, she is stuck between the toy bin I put in front of the cupboard, and the cupboard..and yes, I do know about child latches....but when the cupboard door is broken.......and it isn't even on the nagging list, aka the "To-do" list........Rats, she found a Reese's whips bar.....I fed it to her, bite by bite...that's the way to teach her, eh? (can you tell I've been in Canada?)

Well, I am thinking of a contest. Who can come up with a better title for the new show that might happen someday starring the family who had octuplets in addition to 6 young children? Better than my entry, "Ha ha Jon And Kate, We Have Six Plus Eight".....? Sort of kidding, I admire Jon and Kate. We don't get the channel their show is on, but I have watched it other places....what fun. And I also sort of hate them because she is so pretty and sure of herself and they have a nice house....and on and on.....but I don't really. Just sort of.

It's like the Duggar family. Their house makes me actually drool. Two kitchens.....FOUR washers and FOUR dryers. But when I think about it a little bit, I feel ashamed to feel that way. It's like saying that God hasn't blessed us enough, and that is so far from true, I feel sick. He is so good to us. I wouldn't trade my husband or my kids for anything. Did I ever mention how much I love my husband? Not to embarrass him or anything, but.....he is still "mmmmm"....

Yes, a good marriage is worth fighting for. Fighting against all that is in me that would hold things against him, or be resentful, or mad at him for stupid reasons. Okay, and good reasons. Seriously though, God has drawn us together, and He has been the reason we have it so good together.....I read a blog recently, where the young woman had a headache, and plenty to complain about....then she decided to bless her husband, and get up from the couch and make him dinner....she battled her laziness, and that feeling-sorry-for-myself spirit, and she blessed him. Her headache went away, and she got the victory. Win-win situation, and very encouraging....

The kids somehow have gotten to the table and are having cocoa...they have a whole bag of mini marshmallows, which I can probably just kiss goodbye....and where is the mother? That is one of my favorite lines, "Where was the mom?".....she usually was right there.....physically, anyway.

what???no fair!!!

That was honestly my initial reation to the news of the woman who had octuplets, and already had six children at home....7 years old, 6, 5, 3, and two year old twins....she had fertility treatments, which resulted in 8 embryos. The doctors were unaware of the eighth, they thought there were 7. Surprise! The mother reused "reduction", which is just a fancy word......but anyway, they now have 14 children, 7 and under. wow.

The girls needed showers, and I fully remembered it yesterday afternoon. And fully forgot it until bedtime. By then I was so tired, that I cheerfully said, "That's okay, we'll just do them in the morning!" Oh, procrastination is so decieving. This morning I had to pay.....their hair wasn't too wet when they went out to the bus, and hey, when the temperatures are in the twenties, it seems almost like spring time, compared to what it has been. And they were dressed in clean neat clothes, and they ate their bagels.....but left their juice on the table....but it won't get wasted, I'll pour it into a bottle for Camille. Yes, even if they drank some. It's called "recycling".....

My husband is such a sweetie. He really, seriously, is. We have these two kitties, General Thunder (Boy Kitty), and Kitten Force (Girl Kitty), they are siblings, and almost 2 years old. See, we had Marilla (Old Kitty) for years and years, and we had to have her put to sleep, she was just so feeble, and peeing everywhere.....so Paul, my husband, who supposedly does not like cats too much (he IS allergic), and he does have a point: they are extra work.....anyway, he let us get another kitty. Norry Cat, he was the best cat. Until the fateful day he got hit by a truck.....it was truly sad. So, Paul said we could get another kitty. Benjamin, my brilliant son, brought home not one but TWO 6 week old kittens, so we could choose. Okay, so it wasn't quite "Sophie's Choice", but come on. How could I choose? I did end up choosing, I chose both. I remember that morning when Paul was all dressed up handsomely in his work clothes, and I was standing there in my nightie, with two kittens all snuggled up......"Please? I really want both....how much more trouble can two be?" (apparently my having-babies-reasoning transfers over to kitties)


Well, Boy Kitty has something wrong with him. He is developing huge bald spots. Last night, Paul said we should call the vet. I was reluctant to do that, I mean, I love General, but the vet...$$$$$......I was just genuinely surprised and touched that Paul is so concerned about the cat. That is just how he is. It isn't just the cat, he knows how much the kids love the cats, especially Joseph, Aaron, and Mali. So, today I am calling the vet.

I went to Wal-Mart the other day. There were sandals, leftover from last year that would fit Charlotte Claire this summer. $3, so I picked up two pair. At the register, they rang up $1. I wanted to go back and get some for my niece, but I had only little kids with me, and it seemed pretty crazy to go back through....So Kim, if you read this, and you are going to town, the Tinkerbell, and Disney Princess sandals are really $1. Heck, for $1, I could buy fifteen pair and let them play shoestore.....

That just reminds me of how much fun it has been having all these little girls. Not counting Jonny, stuck there in the middle of seven girls.....but I should count him, because he is always game for playing house, and shoestore.....but they would get out all their shoes, and the little cash registers, and then get a bunch of bags out, and fill the bags with shoes, then they would get some canned goods from the cupboard, how cute....and fill bags with books, they would really get shopping.....then I would be finding bags filled with stuff forever, and it was NOT theirs, it was their sister's, they already took care of THEIR stuff......

That is the problem with getting old. As soon as you see the cash registers and the bags, you remember how it all ends. Like when they get out the game of Monopoly....you just KNOW it will end in a big fight, and you will have to threaten and cajole them to put the game away......Or when they start making forts.....but here is the thing with me: I seem to have a disconnect in this area, but it is starting to connect a little bit, between the FUN part and the CONSEQUENCES.......it makes me game for dropping everything, and going on an adventure......

I am not getting sick of winter yet. I enjoy the winter cooking, the soups, the turning on the oven in order to heat up the kitchen, instead of avoiding it so we don't heat up the kitchen....making pizzas every week for dinner, in the summer it is too hot to do that. I have four doughs in the refridgerator right now, 88cents each from Walmart.....and lots of cheese....

The part I am getting tired of is the walking on the snow and ice. I hate that. The slush, the dirty vehicles......the piercing wind when I am putting groceries in the van....cold feet....

My little ones are still sleeping, so I could just go on and on....there is alot of nonsense in this head of mine. But I will exercise self-control for once, and go and get started on my morning work, the SAME STUFF I did YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

why am i here?

The funeral/memorial services I attended yesterday have really made me stop and do some thinking......

Astrid was a mom of seven. She was capable, organized, her house was lovely, she cooked, she sewed, she did a wonderful job with her kids.....but all those things paled in contrast to the most important thing: she was faithful to God in her circumstances of life, never complaining.

Many, many people, friends and family, spoke so fondly of her yesterday. And it really struck me, how short life is, and how earthly things just don't matter.....

While I was sitting there listening, I was looking forward to coming home, and really being a good mommy. Oh, I'll never be like she was, as far as the capable and organized stuff. But to take things rightly, to persevere in my trials without complaining, no one can stop me from that.

Every once in a while it seems like the blissful ignorance I seem to be caccooned in parts, and I get a strong dose of light from God. Light so powerful over how I really am. I was tempted at first to discouragement. Oh, how can I be cleansed?....Then Aaron emailed me and told me how peaceful it was at home with me gone....what? (I suspect that is because they played Wii and computer for hours without anyone nagging at them)....anyway.....I did not give in to the discouragement. No way! It is written in proverbs about the excellent wife....her worth is far more than rubies..."charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised..."

So in a practical sense too, I have much to work on. Charlotte Claire likes to hit and scratch when she thinks she has good reason to. (don't we all think we have good reason to do things?)

And Camille has been getting into what we call the "broken" cupboard (because it is broken), where I stupidly keep the snacks....and she gets SO mad when she finds something good, and I take it from her....

I guess what I want to say is this:

I can want to do things better, resolve to keep up on things more, shine it up and organize it a bit more around here......but the most IMPORTANT thing, is my attitude. And ha, that is the harder thing to work on....

Dinner tonight: a salad, chicken nuggets, tator tots.....the older ones (Abigail, Mirielle, Joseph, Aaron, Mali, Sam, and Margaret) went to the youth meeting, so I try to have simpler dinners on Thursday nights. Tomorrow should be a simple dinner too, since everyone except Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I will be going out the door right after dinner.....

So, Camille survived TWO nights without me. I got home late late late last night, after 1:30am, and they had left a note on the kitchen table: Mom, do not worry, we kept Camille in our room again,
Love, Abigail and Mali

Well, apparently she woke up like 5 times last night for them, or should I say for Mali, as Abigail just slept though it. Mali just picked her up and hugged her and put her back into her little pink bed.....the night before she only woke up twice.

So, I went without nursing her, but did she forget? Oh, contraire.....she seems to like me twice as much today......

So, I went to bed around 2, and got up at seven fifteen....not too bad, it could have been worse, and it would have been if Camille was in my room....but oh, today I was tired. Here I was, really wanting to be good to the kids, and my fuse was shorter than short, so it was a suffering to be nice.....not all the day, of course, just at some points like when Charlotte Claire dumped her snowman cup of water all over the floor, and when she knocked Camille down because Camille was walking away with her dolly stroller. I need to look up where this verse is written, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness....

Well, the kids are all set to watch "American Idol".....I will watch it with them.....

back to normal

Jonathan and Charlotte Claire, playing oh-so-nicely......in this picture anyway. Then Charlotte Claire decided that she wanted the bed that Jon had....Jon chased her...I got her a different bed. If they play at the table, Camille can't get their stuff....so she is free to get into the cupboard and drawers....

Here is my niece, and her husband with baby Will....

I just thought Camille looked so cute in these pants...she is so much chunkier than Charlotte Claire, who just outgrew these....
Well, I am home again. Camille was happy to see me, I think Charlotte Claire was trying to punish me for leaving her.....I want to write a bit about the funeral/memorial service, but I can't yet..........

here near ottowa

I had been thinking about attending the funeral/memorial services for a friend of ours who passed away last week. My sister, three of her daughters, her son-in-law, and her new grandchild (baby Will) were going up, near Ottowa, Canada. I decided to join them, they so graciously accepted. We left last night to get ahead of all the snow that is covering the Northeast....well, it is up here too. Looking out the hotel window, it is white. Our return trip for this afternoon looks dismal. The travel east of Lake Ontario, from Watertown south, will be extra snowy, due to the lake effect....

I have not yet spoken to those at home, to find out how things went with my still-nursing Camille. But the older kids assured me that she would be fine. Mali was going to set her little pink bed up in her room....and the snow is so bad down there, school is cancelled. I hope they aren't trashing the house without me....or just playing Wii all day....or fighting too much. Well, I am going to call home and check in.....

62,00 JOBS LOST

Okay, the headline from today's newspaper is alarming. The article it headed was even more so. I am no economist, but things do seem to be spiraling downward. It seems to me it is like a viscious circle, the more panic there is, the less spending, the more uncertainy, less investment, - so closings and downsizings......I even thought today that maybe I should just stay home, and not go to the store for margarine....

Anxiety. It is written well in Matthew about this common affliction. The question is asked if it can add one cubit to your life, to be anxious. So why do people suffer in it? Well, for me, it is a simple battle of the thoughts. It is written in the bible to seek first God's kingdom first, and all things will be added to you. So, first of all, how do I do that....

Every thought that come into my head has a root. Most thoughts are rooted in sin. Critical thoughts, judging others, snippy comment thoughts, ect....I have a choice, thought after thought, day after day, whether to agree with these things and give them a nice cozy home in my body, or whether to say NO! When I agree with all the sinful thoughts, giving in to worry, not being thankful, thinking it is unfair about this or that, then that is what I am filled with. There is no oil in my lamp. Everything is difficult, and sacrifice is nearly impossible. But when I am faithful to God in my every thought, then I become pure within, and my actions that follow will also be good. To take up this battle against sin is so simple, yet so blessed. If you just cleanse the outside of the cup, the inside will still be filled with corruption.

I had lunch with two of my friends yesterday, both Christians, P. has seven children, and A. has eight (and a husband in remission from esophogeal cancer). One of the things we talked about is how good it is to be with those who don't complain about everything, and who aren't going to backbite as soon as we walk out of the room. For instance, P., a nurse, said that at work, it would be enjoyable, but the backbiting that goes on, makes you pretty sure they are talking about you, too....And just being with A., who has had trials beyond comprehension, and she is still glad and thankful, is nothing short of miraculous.

So, after reading the newspaper this morning, it was just on my heart to really be an example during the days here on earth, to live what I know to be right. Not that I am anything special, or gifted, but that I can be faithful in my trials. I just want to encourage anyone who reads this, it is possible for YOU to be pleasing to God, no matter what your circumstances. He is truly equal-opportunity!

So, today, I would like to stay home and take a nap. Camille is getting some molars, and I am thinking that is why she was up for a few hours last night. I finally came out and gave her some infant Tylenol drops, and after she fell back asleep, she stayed asleep until just a few minutes ago. But, I do not think a nap is in the picture today, as I sort of need a few things from the store. I am doing my part to help the economy....

pictures

Camille likes to read books. Which makes it a little easier to deal with the way she likes to empty the bookshelves.

She sat there reading, and pooped in her diaper. She then went and got the package of diapers....hmm, not too smart, is she?

Jon, having some down time, watching Dragon Tales...

Margaret with Camille

Charlotte Claire, putting on some socks, Jon, and Camille

Jon, Mr. Batteries. He can use a screwdriver to remove any battery cover, and determine which kind of battery he needs to bug me for relentlessly.

Just some random pictures of the day....

time just flies

My three little elementary girls are still waiting for the bus, it is running late this morning. There are six kids on first trip, and just these 3 on the second trip, an hour later than the first. I just had to pop this one in of Camille. She does wear clothes sometimes, though mostly pajama sleepers. She was offended at the nice little sweater coat, and struggled with it until I relented and took it off.

There is nothing new under the sun. Time flies: it has been said, written about, observed, lamented. Writing daily on this blog sort of cements that for me. I log on, and go to write the title for the day's post, and lo and behold: I have written "monday morning" so many times already....yes, the days go by.

So, along the same lines, Sonja lost a tooth -oh, two weeks ago or so. She put it under her pillow, and the tooth fairy has not come yet, she says. oops. That forgetful toothfairy. I told her this morning that our tooth fairy is pretty stupid, but once in a while she leaves something really wonderful. Evelyn and Suzanne went on to tell the stories of when the tooth fairy left them lots of money, or prizes.....guilt offerings.....

I survived the weekend. Somehow. We had a nice dinner last night, I made scalloped potatoes, baked a ham, and we had broccoli with it. Paul had gone to the store for dogfood, and gotten some ice cream for dessert. After dinner, we sit at the table and talk for a while, the little kids get washed and get down one by one.....and we discuss who's turn it is to do the dishwasher....last night we decided on Joseph. Aaron washing pans. Mirielle sweeping. Margaret washing table, clearing. Mali clearing. Someone cleaning up the high chair, ect....well, imagine my surprise when I got up this morning and there was a stack of dirty plates on the counter....I should know by now not to react too quickly...and the pans weren't washed. Aaron was waiting for the bus.....his defense: he was waiting for Joe to do the dishwasher, to do the pans after, and then he forgot. I talked to Joseph: he DID do the dishwasher, those plates just didn't fit. Okay, could you have at least rinsed them off?? I don't like to come down too hard on them, but I do get after them when they shrug things off like that. I did soak the pans, I can't just leave them there, but Aaron has to wash them when he gets home from school. I realize that because of the sheer size of the family, the chores they have to do are going to be more taxing than most kids have, but we do spread it around, so no particular child is overworked. The girls do tend to do more around here than the boys, and they don't think that is fair. So I try to get the boys to do a bit more.

Well, Jonathan and Charlotte Claire are up now, I just changed Miss Charlotte, and I already made her a bottle of juice....but I should go....

sunday.....and lots of kids are hungry

It seems like I just sat down from breakfast cleanup, which was added up into cleaning the mess I made making brown sugar kettle corn last night, vacuuming, doing some laundry, changing some diapers, ect, ect.....and now THEY WANT LUNCH! I found a Christmas advent calender that I had bought cheap after Christmas, filled with chocolates, and that was devoured pretty quickly....then Kathryn found a box of pizza rolls in the freezer. A 15 count box. Make sure everybody gets one! They are doing lunch on their own for now, but believe me, if I choose to sit here and let them, I will pay for it.....I told them they can have a sandwich, or some oatmeal. Mirielle, Mali, and Margaret just came in the door, they have been gone to a meeting, and they are coming to the rescue and making some oatmeal for some of the kids.



Bananas. I cannot eat them, I am allergic. I love them. I sneak a little taste once in a while. I cannot eat any tropical fruit....but bananas, they are almost a staple food here. When they are hungry, have a banana. Healthy, neat, cheap. I pick them up everytime I go to the store. And if they perchance (is that a word?) get a bit brown, Abigail will make us some banana bread, which I can eat.



I am excited about something: I am going to lunch tomorrow with some friends. I think there will be 4 or 5 of us. We haven't decided on a place yet. It really doesn't matter, just somewhere we can sit for a few hours and talk. 3 of us went to breakfast a few weeks ago, we sat and drank coffee for hours. These things are very special to me. Mirielle will get out of classes by lunchtime, so she will watch the little ones for me. Some things do get easier when you have older ones at home. To be able to go to some of my appointments without bringing everyone was something that was unheard of for many years. Now, I can usually find someone to watch some of them, and decide on the key ones to bring so things are smooth here, too.....shopping trips are the same thing. For years, I did the shopping either late at night, when they were in bed and Paul was here, or during the day with all of them. I still do that sometimes. The older ones do have their lives, but they are willing to pitch in to help, too. Older ones come with their own troubles for parents, though......FASFA, college loans, vehicles, insurance, permits, licenses, rides, ect, ect.....different troubles than when they were little, but things that keep us busy nonetheless.....



Paul scored one million bonus popularity points with the kids one night when I wasn't here. Apparently, either he or one of the older ones made some popcorn.....the little ones were tucked into bed. So, they smelled the popcorn. Daddy so nicely brought them each in a handful, into their beds. They are still talking about it. Daddy is nicer than Mommy, because HE brought us popcorn in bed.....

Well, I had to take a break, now it is a few hours later, Charlotte Claire and Camille are tucked into naps, and it is a bit quieter in here. 6 kids are in the living room, 4 or 5 in the kitchen, a few in the little girls' room, and Paul is going to take a turn on the treadmill, which I just got off of. I went for over 20 minutes, listening to ABBA. Now, I feel more like I deserve a rest....

Jonathan has his whole Thomas train set up across the livingroom floor. He thinks when we pick up and vacuum, it is a fresh clean floor for him to play on.

Hmm....here I sit....coffee ....I just told Kathryn I'd pay her a quarter for a cup of coffee. I don't mind getting up and making one, but:

1. Someone might steal my computer.

2. Someone might steal my chair.

3. I might see lots of distractions along the way....like, messes to clean up, kids to talk to.....

4. Coffee always tastes better when someone else makes it.


Lunchtime goes on all day here. The kids that are eating now will not be hungry for dinner. The kids who ate a few hours ago are having some chips with the kids that are eating now. I could be more strict. But I just don't feel like it. Joseph just had a cup of icecream, when I was on the treadmill. I simply pretended not to notice. I try to give them as much freedom as I can, while still sort of fairly distributing the snacks and good stuff. That sometimes involves pretending I don't see things. I hate getting after them....but theoretically, one person having ice cream could turn into quite a big ordeal, if certain younger ones noticed and decided they wanted some too...

Gosh, I could just let them do this all day, and not even serve dinner. But I can't. Inevitably there would be someone who didn't eat.....so we always sit down and eat dinner together, no matter how the day goes. I have a ham in the 'fridge, and I have a lot of potatoes, I can peel some and mash them. And we have lots of frozen veges....then maybe tomorrow I can start some soup before I leave, using some of the ham.....

We have what I call a "roundy-round" seat. It is sort of an Exersaucer, which Camille has grown out of. I don't know exactly where to store it, it is big and barely folds. I asked Aaron to bring it downstairs. He asked why we were even keeping it. I said that you never know, maybe we will need it someday....he was surprised, and said he thought weren't having anymore kids.....I said that 'ya never know.....he seemed happy about that, then started begging for me to adopt a baby, how about a little Chinese baby, please mom, please? Oh Aaron, if only it were that easy. I am not sure anyone would give a family with so many kids a baby, even though we would love him/her, and take good care....and we are getting older, I am 43, Paul is 46. Sometimes when I hear the heartwrenching stories like the one Paul told me yesterday: a young mother in some midwestern state drowned her two young daughters....2 years and 4 years old, I think....the mom was having trouble with the kids' father, ect ect....so she drowned the kids. I WOULD have TAKEN them! The failed Nebraska law did prove one thing: there is obviously a need, however sad it may be, for people to be able to give up their kids. I don't think we should go back to state run orphanages or anything, but......to be that desperate....it is unspeakably horrible. I wonder how God possible can stand to see all that goes on on this earth.

Yeah, give me a cup of coffee and a computer, and on and on I go...sorry....

saturday night....

We had a nice dinner tonight, and chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting for dessert. Our dinner: lasagna (Mirielle made so much, we had leftovers), salad, beer-battered onion rings. We only had eleven people for dinner tonight, as a few boys were at hockey, and Abigail is gone for the weekend...and Ben is at work, and of course Emily is gone to Norway.....



It is absolutely freezing here again, so we have been in all day, except those who have ventured out to get wood, or shovel the driveway. Yes Martha, way too cold and windy for the hot tub. But yesterday, my gosh it was like a summer day here, I think it was 40 degrees out there. And partially sunny! It felt nice.



Tomorrow, we are going to a local cafe, they are displaying some artwork from our high school, and Joseph has something there. He of course does not want to go, but we want him to.



Yesterday, Paul referred me to a blog he reads, there was a comment from a woman, childless by choice, who was bashing "mommybloggers"....she was mainly referring to a blog written by a sad, confused woman who did not love her daughter, and wrote all about it...the basher thinks it's criminal how we moms write all the details of our kids lives, and invade their privacy. Well, there is a fine line between me sharing my life, and what is not okay to share because of their privacy. And sometimes I second guess myself. But I don't think too many people read this. I do not have a tracker, because I do not really want to know. I tell myself that like ten people read it....and when I write, I just write what I feel like, and try not to think of how it comes across. My reasons for writing this blog:

I just really like to write.

I like to put picture up, it is fun, and it's interesting to look back on.

I hope that people can read this and get a bit of help in some way, to realize that with God all things are possible, and our competency (or lack of it, in my case) has nothing to do with being pleasing to God.(By the way, there is an article on the www.brunstad.org page about a young man we know who lived through a terrible tradgedy, in 2004. His house burned down when he was in Ottawa, his pregnant wife and seven children all died in the fire.....he has really trusted God through it all)

Well, the girls are starting a movie, and I cannot watch and type...

hot tub afternoon

Jonathan and I got in, and when the bus came with Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja, the bigger kids told them where I was.....they came out so excitedly, in their underwear.....why bother with bathing suits? I was in there for an hour....and now I feel tired. (poor me, right?) And: tonight's dinner is already made, I just put it in the oven.....I only have to make a salad, and gets some help setting the table...the kids are pretty low key right now, all relaxed. Charlotte Claire and Camille are still napping. I do have a good life. I always try to notice the special "down" times like now, and be thankful. So I can never say anything like, "I never get a break"......It is of course good to always be thankful, even during the tough times......and it is worth pointing out that if I had a real job, I would work much harder than I do now. No offense to other stay at home moms, I am only speaking for myself. I know I could work harder, I could be mopping the floor right now, goodness knows it needs it. But I take my breaks. Oh, the funnest (that SHOULD be a word, how else can you say it?) thing about being in the hot tub with the three little elementary girls: hearing all about their day....they actually had to take turns, one by one, and then another turn, and another....and then I could tell Jon was chomping to talk, so he got a turn to tell the girls about stuff....oh, it was time well spent. But here I sit.....

Mirielle went to Wal-Mart with Kathryn, to get some supplies for activity club at church tonight. They are making individual pizzas. My kids are such nerds, in a good way. Imagine an almost 19 year old girl rooting for her parents to get a mini van as opposed to just a car, so she can take her little activity club girls places.....

Well, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja all did well on their spelling tests, and are trying to tell me more interesting things about their day....the new boy named Eli, and show and tell.....

just another day....

Lunch time baby...Camille likes to feed herself...

Jonathan and Charlotte Claire. Charlotte Claire did not want leftover sloppy joe, just bread and butter, and apples and oranges....

Camille at breakfast....she had just dumped all the bottle and sippycup tops out of the drawer, and was trying to get crushed ice from the front of the freezer in a bottle top cover...so I popped her in here again, gave her a cracker, and continued my cleaning up.....it is like it barely balances out sometimes - the messes they make, and me cleaning them up....how can a mom get ahead? And she looks so innocent. Can she be the same child who got into the oatmeal, and came into the living room with a Kool-aid cooler and a straw, sat down, and almost got it going before she was caught? The same girl who knows that markers have tops that come off? Who knows how to call 911, and tries to everytime she gets a chance?

And this little girl, she takes good care of her dollies. Here she is using like 5 wipes.

We are now at the part of the day where it is almost naptime....they are getting tired, but I have been tired for a long time now. I get a bit weary of trying to stay ahead of them, and all the fanangeling (is that a word?) that goes on to accomplish anything....I put some clothes in the washer, Camille takes some clothes out of the hamper. I stop what I am doing, and pick up the clothes.... I put some dishes in the dishwasher, Camille takes some snacks from the garbage can. I stop what I'm doing, and take it from her. Now, I am breaking my own rules and letting them eat Pringles in the living room. Oh well. It is buying me a break.

We have the hot tub turned up, so we will be able to use it this afternoon. It is wonderfully warm outside, at least 39 degrees. It is nice to get over the freezing mark. I am still leary of letting Charlotte Claire go in the hot tub, I think she will go under water just like she did in the summer time. Even 39 is cold for a wet head outside......so she needs to take a nice long nap today.....but she is smart, she knows we turned it up, and she keeps talking about her bathing suit. Maybe I will put a hat on her, and tell her not to get the hat wet.....

We have recieved some sad news. A friend of ours from Canada has passed away. She was only around my age, had seven children.....she had cancer. She had been suffering for a long time, and it has been tough on the kids. She was one of 17 children, and grew up in Germany. She was a lovely girl. The kind of mom who sewed matching dresses for her girls and herself, and drove all the way down here from Canada with a van full of kids when her husband had to work. She was a good and faithful sister in the Lord, and she is in a better place, where there is no suffering....

good morning, friday!

Aah. The weekend. It comes into welcome arms, only to disapoint me with it's craziness and disorder....but since I AM the queen of craziness and disorder, we get along just fine....

With my older girls gone to college now, it is just the three little ones and I at home during the day. It is much more challenging to do everything alone (Camille picks some opportune times to wander into the bathroom (WHO LEFT THE DOOR OPEN?!!), there is no one to check on her for me, except for Jon. But there is also some strange satisfaction in doing things myself. With no one to rely on, I have a method to my madness. I plan things out more, have more control.

Yeah, when I am the only responsible (ha) big person here, things hum along....I just have to ignore this little laptop that calls my name. But weekends; everyone going here and there, and kids having friends over...and Paul, he just plain does things different than I do. Not major things, just little things, like giving Camille a cracker to walk around with, or a handful of dry cheerios in the living room....he lets her go into our room with him when he's getting out the next day's clothes, and she gets into things, and he does not even notice. It's a good thing he's so cute. No, I cannot complain about him. I don't sweat it that he does things differently than I do, I so want to have it good with him. And somehow I am guessing that he has to overlook some things with me, too. Every once in a while I get a glaring look at how I am, and think, "How can he love me?"....

Well, Miss Camille calls from her little pink bed.....

pictures of craziness

Once in a while, the kids get stir-crazy.

Jonathan with his Kool-aid smile....

Taking Camille for a ride.

Ooh, wipes.

Dancing....they had the soundtrack to "Enchanted" on....even Camille can dance. The noise level was - well - bearable for a while, then....I had them turn it off and settle down. I can only take so much.

Mirielle was going to watch Camille and Charlotte Claire this afternoon, and give them a nap while I went to some appointments. Well, I am too nice. Charlotte Claire thought she was going too. I didn't get out any clothes for her, and when I got the other kids ready, she ran into her room to get some clothes, all chattering and excited....what could I do? I got her an outfit, and brought her with me. She did fine without a nap, except for the 10 or 15 crying spells this evening....

Tonight, we had sloppy joes for dinner, with broccoli and carrots. Tomorrow: lasagna! Mirielle made it today, two pans of it. We do the kind where you don't boil the noodles, just put them in and use lots of extra sauce and water, refridgerate overnight, and the noodles cook in the oven....so, tomorrow I only have to remember to put it in the oven...and I am staying home, tomorrow. At least I plan to.

Life is good when you are two years old. Charlotte Claire got a sticker at the dr.'s office, two cookies at the store, and a cup of water from the dreaded water cooler at the dentist office. Joseph got his chipped tooth fixed ,and he looks more decent. If he gets a hair cut, he will qualify as decent.

Joseph wants to get his permit, I am going to take him downtown next week to get it. That will be #5 for drivers. Aaron is younger, and has his, and has been driving alot. Now they can take turns a bit. It's nice if they can get alot of experience first. They say they don't like to drive with me in the passenger seat, because I hang on, and say things like, SLOW Down, and CAREFUL, and RED LIGHT!!! What, am I just supposed to sit there and hope they notice?

Abigail is over 21, so she qualifies in New York state as a front seat passenger for a driver with a learner's permit. So I don't have to get TOO much grey hair. Because hey, I have 11 more to go.

things I worry about

I'll be lying in bed at night, and imagine someone backing up without looking, and running over one of the kids. It is all I can do not to get up and warn Abigail, Ben, and Mirielle to alway double check.....( I reminded Ben and Mirielle this morning to CHECK, and also, pull into the driveway carefully, even it it is late at night, what if one of the kids is out getting something out of the van?) I cannot even start to think about what we would do if there was a fire. I personally don't believe in those "plans", because kids are very literal, and if you had a plan, and the fire was in the way, they would still follow the plan. Then, when I was taking them for a ride in the new van, I had the thought, like, Oh great, we chose this van, with no side air bags, and we are going to get in an accident on our first trip in it.....but we didn't. I worry alot about my older kids out driving. Well, I can't say I actually full-blown worry about all these things, but I sure get tempted to.....I know it is stupid to worry. It doesn't help anything. But I read the paper every single day, and things DO happen. I reference these things when I am warning my children. Kids drown in toilets. Get stuck in dryers, freezers, and trunks. (I don't mention these things to the little ones, of course) People DO chop off their fingers when they are cutting up apples, I know what I'm talking about....And do not twirl around near the stove, you will catch on fire. Don't climb up the bookcase. Or lean on the window. Or swing that child by her arms! (Emily dislocated her elbow when she was two, her cousin pulled her by the arms).....Oh, I know kids get their bumps and bruises....I agonized before buying them the trampoline. I honestly am not a basket case, but I do try to watch over them. I know God is watching, too, and He also sends angels....but that doesn't mean I am exempt from my job, my responsibility to care for and protect them as much as I can...we still have had our stitches and broken bones....(when Margaret was two, she walked in front of a swing, fell and broke her arm in two places).....

When Benjamin goes out the door, I always tell him to be careful. (wonder why!, the kid is an accident waiting to happen)....and honestly, the last accident he had, I almost told him that as he left for work, but I stopped myself.....didn't want to nag so much. And LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!! Good thing I am not superstitious.....as much as I know that is not why it happened....hmm.....

Last night, I asked Paul if he had a good day at work. For the record, he does not love his job. He never complains about it, but he doesn't like to sit around all day in a cubicle. So, it was the standard answer, It was fine.....I asked him if he ever gets sick and tired of the whole thing. He said he wouldn't go so far to use the words "sick and tired", but, you know....but he asked, why, was I sick and tired of everything? "Well, I have the thought every now and then, and I don't give in to that thought, because I know if I do, it will open the gate to more and more thoughts, and I think I can easily get sick and tired of everything, if I let myself...."

My sweet little Camille is 14 months now, and she is starting to talk. She is up now, and she just went and brought me the box with the little miniture Zapf babies.....and she was saying, "Baby, baby".....then she went to the dollhouse stuff, found two babies, and brought them to me. She knows how to say BABY, and she knows what it is. She is like me already!

Well, no more deep and profound thoughts for now, I have to change and feed my Camille....

all is quiet....

mostly. A few kids are still up. Mirielle just noticed that Charlotte Claire's bedroom light was on. She probably climbed out of her crib and turned it on, climbed back in and went to sleep. Abigail is still up, and the boys are settling down.

I have to take Jonathan and Sonja to the dr. tomorrow at 1:30.....and Joseph has a dentist appointment at 3:10. So lucky Joseph gets to sit through the pediatric appt. before he gets a cavity filled. Fun. And, he does not know this yet, but I plan a quick run through Wegmans, one of the best grocery stores ever. They have free prescriptions for antibiotics, through March. Anyway, Joseph will be thrilled. Mirielle has class until 12:20, so she can pick Joseph up from school for me....and then stay here and watch Charlotte Claire and Camille for me. Benjamin has the same schedule as her, except he stays later, so they will ride together and he will try to get a ride home, or call me and I will pick him up. So I better have my dinner planned...because it will be a busy afternoon.

I took some of the kids for a ride in the mini van when daddy got home from work in it today. It was not practical, but I did it anyway.Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, and Charlotte Claire. Of course, they waited out there in the freezing cold while I bundled up Charlotte Claire. And by the time I got her out there, there was a huge fight brewing, with Evelyn crying, and Kathryn sputtering about how she did not mean it....and they couldn't find the other end of the seatbelt for the middle seat.....yelling.....not too much fighting over the seats.....but I started it up, and took them for a ride. Pretty exciting. For most kids, to ride in our 15 passenger van, packed full, would be interesting....but for these guys, mini vans: exciting. And, they are NEVER going to leave any garbage in it.....they are planning on shining it up even more. I suggested they clean out the big old van....nah.

Tonight for dinner I made a chicken stew. I floured and browned the chicken in oil with pepper, and then simmered it off and on for the whole day, with 2 cans of chicken broth, a can of cream of celery soup, and some water. A few hours before dinner, I added carrots, then 8 or 9 peeled and cubed potatoes. We had it with rolls. The kids liked it so much they kept asking for more.

It is now morning, I had to jump up and get the crying Camille before she woke up Paul.....

I stayed home all day....

Last night on our deck....we haven't cooked out lately.

It was so sparkly it looked fake.

Mali 14, and Mirielle, almost 19 when we picked up the van.....is there a contrast in their sense of style or what?

Mirielle was freezing, her hair was still wet....so we went inside to wait. We are watching American Idol, and the little ones are being crazy. Mostly Jon and Charlotte Claire. They are not interested in the show, so they go nuts. I will have to go and read them some stories.....Paul and all the older ones are gone tonight....